your unfriendly neighbourhood hero

When Feeling Down, Write it Out

2011-03-31T16:48:00.004+08:00

Before he went off hati ni berlagak, mana boleh saya rindukan dia lebih-lebih.
Kan cinta pada yang Esa tu paling utama dalam hati?
...
Tak sampai 5 jam dia sampai Singapore dah resah gelisah.
If this feeling is a gift from you, dear Allah, I pray that you give me some strength to handle this.
Cinta itu fitrah manusia.
Cinta sesama manusia suatu yang indah, jika dipelihara berlandaskan hukum Islam.
I believe in that.
Too bad I only knew about it after too many heartbreaks.
Tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah made us meet few wrong people to be paired up with the right one in the end, inshaAllah.
"Jika Allah SWT memakbulkan doamu, maka Allah meneguhkan kepercayaanmu kepadaNya, jika Allah SWT menangguhkan doamu, maka Allah menguji kesabaranmu, jika Allah TIDAK MEMAKBULKAN doamu, maka Allah telah merancang sesuatu yang lebih baik buatmu."

All you need to do is just believe :)

Can We Talk?

2011-01-24T13:27:00.004+08:00

I've been listening to Maher Zain's "The Chosen One" on repeat for almost two days now.
Entah kenapa, sebak sungguh rasa mengenangkan diri.
Jika ada seorang pun yang dapat memahami hati ini, insan itu mungkin hanya Rasulullah SAW.
Ya, Allah, aku tau Kau mengetahui segalanya yang terbuku di hati ini.
Teringin benar berbicara denganmu ya Rasul.
Aku rasa benar, apa saja yang kau ucapkan mampu menenangkan hati ini.
Mana mungkin ada insan yang begitu sayangkan umatnya seperti Nabi Muhammad SAW.
Aku khuatir, aku resah.
Aku sedang berhadapan dengan kegelisahan jiwa.
Aku pohon, apa jua jenis perasaan yang timbul, yang salah ini, dijauhkan daripada aku..
Aku tidak mahu lupa lagi, dan jangan pernah sekali pun cinta manusia itu melebihi cinta padaMu..
Jangan pernah melebihi..
Ya Rasul, kekasih Allah..aku ingin berjumpa denganmu..

Stop. In the Name of Love

2011-01-03T12:23:00.002+08:00

Untuk engkau yang lupa pada diri.

This is not the first time I'm telling you this.
I have told it to your face.
I have text you a gazillion times.
Stop calling. I have removed your number, don't make me call DiGi and ask them to block your number from reaching mine.
(Wujud ke tak block system ni?)
I don't hate you, but a broken heart does not heal in one minute.
It took me 6 months to finally have natural feelings for you.
Not long enough, but it was still 6 agonizing months.
So please, I don't want to hear anything from you anymore.
Not anymore.

Bola

2010-12-30T11:31:00.002+08:00

Ha, tengok title pun dah agak kot aku nak cerita apa?
Semua orang cerita bola, aku pun nak cerita bola lah.ngeh ngeh.
Our beloved PM (bila dia baik panggil la beloved) bagi cuti esok.
No fair, aku memang dah apply cuti. Kemeriahan announcement cuti semalam tidak terasa.
Tapi best aku dapat RDO after Thaipusam, 21st Jan 2011. (Korang mesti tatau ape itu RDO, bukan? Korang boleh fikir sampai botak. teehee. atau paling mudah, tanya je la saya)
Disebabkan excitement kemenangan Malaysia dengan Indonesia yang angkuh lagi karut semalam..hari ni aku period. Ada kaitan? Tiada? Ada? Siapa boleh tlg jwb ni?
Jadi bila period, sakit perut, senggugut atau nama samaran, period pain.
Bila mengalami sakit sebegini, aku teramatlah bencikan air-cond.
Tahap kebencian terhadap air-cond akan meningkat daripada 98.7% kepada 311.84%
Statistik ini diperoleh daripada hasil ramalan tiak profesional saya.
Kejap aku, kejap saya. Tak konsisten kau ni Idyani.
Ok, berbalik kepada cerita air-cond. Dalam keadaan sejuk, saya harus memastikan diri aktif melakukan kerja untuk memanaskan badan, tapi dorg ni set temperature agaknya nak kasi rasa winter kat Malaysia ni kot. Aku buat apa pun masih tak membuahkan hasil.
Ok, aku sejuk. Dalam bas sejuk, keluar bas sejuk.
kena frostbite jugak ni karang.
Aku tak faham. Aku nak cerita ape ni?
Bola ke pasal period pain ke pasal air-cond?
Ok semalam tengok bola (tetibe tukar topik) sangatlah semangat.
Laser yang terkena pada Fahmi tidak mengacau konsentrasi langsung. Markus hanya cari alasan.
Ok Fahmi, walaupun anda orang Kelantan yang telah beat Negeri Sembilan perlawanan lepas, anda memang pemain cemerlang semalam.
i wuv u. chewah. dan dan la. kejap je ni. cinta bermusim.
Selamat bekerja pada hari terakhir semua. Siapa yang masih bekerja esok, all the best and enjoy the feeling of jealousy that you will experience when you see others enjoying their holidays.ngahahaha.

Rajin pulak update blog ye Idyani. Elokla tu. Tema blog pun tema kanak-kanak lagi ni.
Young at heart ni *cubaan menyedapkan hati*
Baru sedar, next year dah 26. *down semula*

Age is just a number right?

Aku Tulis (Ke Type?) Lagi

2010-12-28T08:53:00.003+08:00

Mak aih.
Brape lama kau tinggal blog ni Idyani.
Berabuk, bersawang, ber ber ber.
Idyani kembali lagi.
Kali ini padat dengan gossip..haha.takkan la, muka ni?

Alhamdulillah, hidup sekarang makin aman, tenang.
Beberapa bulan yang lepas, aku tercari-cari, serabut dengan masalah sendiri.
Aku update tumblr, tapi last aku update pun bila?berapa minggu dah?
Another year is going to end.
Tapi pada aku, permulaan tahun baru adalah bila bermulanya 1432 Hijrah.
Di situ semua yang lampau aku tinggalkan, aku berazam mencari cinta Pencipta pula.
Aku masih jahil, tapi aku mengharap pada perubahan.
Masih bujang, masih mencari cinta dunia, tapi jika bukan untuk aku, biarlah aku tunggu hanya di sana.InsyaAllah..tak pernah hampa mengharap pada yang Esa :)

Ok Idyani. tak best langsung post kau ni.
Diam Idyani, pergi buat kerja!!

A New Beginning, Again?

2010-08-10T08:18:00.002+08:00

Good day lovies :)

Ya Allah, it has been almost a year since my last update?This is no more one of those writer's block. This is just purely pemalas-ism!That is soooo synonymous with me.
Two of my "biggest fans" in this old blog keep telling me to update, but I have not been inspired to write anything. I got a new blog, and far less complicated than this rusty old one. Even that one took me a lot of courage to start, let alone update.
So the question that comes to mind, what has been stopping me from writing?

It's..

Life.

Changes happened for a reason, I believe so. For a better life, for better opportunities.

I am still working in OSK, but we have transferred from subsidiaries to OSKIB. (There's no need to tell you the details of it, right?). Cozier chair, only that it really really resembles a contact center. It's effing noisy and hectic. Well, expect that while being on the same floor with the stock brokers. They even call this level, "Orang Kaya's" Level. Maybe all they do is deal with Dato's and Datins. BIG money calling.

I was scolded last night, by this one stranger in my life. Apparently my rusty old blog made an impact on their lives, in a bad way, that is.

Well, excuse me for minding my own petty business. I, off all people do not need to be petrified by your words. But thanks to you, I'm writing again :)

Isn't that a good start to a new life?

Lookie Lookie, Who Just Decided to Write Again?

2009-12-10T16:52:00.002+08:00

Yup, it's me. The one me. Idyani. Yup, I'm writing. It's terrible, but I'm writing.
I bet no one reads my blog anymore..it's dead for sure. Lot of things happen..things come and go, the only reason that made me write is because, I got nothing else to do. Definitely ZERO.
I moved to another company in Jalan Ampang, OSK Investment Bank. To my surprise, I met my ex-unimate, Shima. She's in IT Dept, well i'm in IT too but we specialise more on this one trading web we have to maintain. I just started yesterday but everything here seems really nice. Nobody brags about something, no petty ergonomic issues, no eyes being watchful of me. Just like one of my new officemate said, total freedom. Nobody cares what you do, as long as you finish your work on time..still, you maintain a healthy relationship with your colleagues. Well at least it is so far. Everyone is nice around here, can't say friendly, but super nice. A totally different environment from EM, which everything is on your own, read this, read that, but even the thing they provided is not complete.woops. There goes my mouth.hahaha.
Well, that's it for now.haha.

Makna Rasa

2009-05-03T22:33:00.002+08:00

Bila tersedar, aku mencinta..
Tapi Tuhan, tunjukkan apa maknanya..
Bila berdiri dengan seribu tanda tanya..
Diakah untuk aku?
Sisa dosa haruskah lupa?
Kosong jiwa, mencari cebis harapan..
Sedikit tidak kau pandang ke sini..
Aku sakit, aku jerit..
Hanya aku yang tahu..
Tuhan, selamatkan aku..
Aku tidak mahu hanyut lagi..
Dalam arus nafsu manusia jahil..
Hidup ini, berikan makna..
Agar aku bisa terbang semula..

1,2,3,4

2009-04-26T16:30:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's the last day. i will then have to adjust myself to my working schedule.
BIG sigh.
i love you, all of you.
this MV is damned cute.
i need a husband ASAP.
hahaha.
batch 10, do not let our guards down.
keep the spirit alive, wherever you guys are going to work at.
please don't forget me.
AWW MAN!!!

Aqiqah untuk Damia

2009-04-05T03:13:00.001+08:00

Silalah lawat Facebook utk gambar2 aqiqah ye.
Malas nk upload blogger lembab.hahaha.

Added Difficulty in Finding a Husband

2009-04-02T00:12:00.003+08:00

I was walking with Dila and Ina to the LRT station when it suddenly occurred to me.
If i was ever to find a husband, he will have to quit smoking..or does not smoke at all.
not that i am that anti-smokers or any of that kind..but i just find it's cute for a guy who chooses not to be like any other guys and start smoking just because someone persuaded them to.
but by having to say this..i am almost getting myself to zero possibility of getting a man who doesn't smoke.even the one guy who i think looks cute and doesn't seem like the type to smoke smokes the cigarette. with this i'm officially someone who will never get married.hahaha.

adoi..

i got broken-hearted la today.

why la i should have never liked him that much la.
tuhan, please lemme feel nothing again.

I Owe Her Big Time

2009-03-28T11:45:00.003+08:00

i woke up today with this one thing on my mind: Andrew is going to kill me if i haven't finished the assignment.he was really garang yesterday.especially when dealing with hafis who provoked him to be in such manner.hahaha.but what to do i was really really tired last night.thanks to somehow who made me stay awake until 5am.ahaha.
i am officially free until the 27 of april to complete my BTEC course.alhamdulillah my prayers were answered again!!!
it is such a waste to leave in the middle without getting the cert.because i want to be the CEO of a contact centre and being a contact centre agent promises you such career.sounds like a true dreamer right..hahaha.but this is true.
of course this comes only with great effort and hardwork.no job is made easy.
but i really think that being in such industry is something i like.
though it is never easy to build team work among your colleagues.
in ExxonMobil i'm gonna be in Zaidi's team and he's my supervisor.he was the one who interviewed me.very handsome guy, but i can tell he's married.hahaha.
so i'll be starting off in the Global Security Monitoring team?i'm doing the audit.hence the report writing thing.
that was what Suet briefed me on.Suet is the one who's going to get all the documents ready to get me into Exxon.she has helped me a lot in trying to compromise with Exxon to lemme stay in the program until the end of it.i could never thank her enough.
the only thing is, i was afraid that Zaidi might just change his mind and forgo the idea of letting me joining his team.he might even think that i'm this mengada-ngada girl.kept on shifting the dates.
but Suet told me it was all done in a professional manner.
She kept telling me how i sounded like a nice girl who tried to please both parties.
She adviced me not to be too nice and try to come up with one decision and make everything clear so that this kind of thing won't happen again.she knew i never worked before.
so far God has been helping me.
:)

p.s.: new batch next week, i was so surprised to see Amir in Stamford.he also joined the program.he's in batch 12?13?the batch where the cute babyfaced boy that i admire is in.hahahaha.too many crush in a week?well, yeah.it's not like i'm going to steal them away since they have gfs.sigh sigh sigh.gimme my prince charming but please don't gimme that typical malay guy anymore.

Macam Mana Ni..

2009-03-24T20:41:00.002+08:00

OK this is going to sound VERY ridiculous.
I'm having a crush.
Yes, a crush on someone.
I hate it.it confuses me.between the definition of lust and love.
because in my journey of self-discovery, i found out that i fall for someone easily.
or is it because i tend to look into the best qualities that one guy has?
never mind that, i just realized that no matter what i find it very easy to fall for funny guys.
like someone who is extremely funny.
or is it because i just like him and tend to like him even though in reality he is not that funny?
no he is, because everyone else thinks the same.
he just needs to stand there and he's funny just by standing there.
pfft.what the hell is happening to me?
anyways, we all visited astro's training group today when we were in the middle of william's class.
in the name of god, the astro people are so extremely cold and they think that they are the ONLY cool beings on earth.my %&&*^$$^**.
and thanks to them, william loves us more.hahaha.
ya Allah, you have given me all the blessings.
i am at the happiest point of my life so far.
Alhamdulillah.
i thank You.

The Bestest Birthday Present Ever

2009-03-21T00:39:00.004+08:00

I got a job, people.like finally!haha.yup, ExxonMobil confirmed the job offer.
They broke the news on Wednesday to me, just a day after my birthday.
So that explains the reason why i got the most anticipated present of the year.(somehow i knew they were going to break the news to me; whether i'll get the job or not;on my birthday or after my birthday.hahaha.)
and of course, i celebrated with my family, which is the best thing that could ever happened to you when you got back from a tiring day traveling.
I didn't have that much time to update this blog and break the news to you guys, so bear with me.

Today, our class visited the NOKIA Careline centre for the non-English speaking customers.
There were Japanese, Vietnamese, Indonesians, Thais, Bangladeshis, Koreans and Filipinos agents.
Obviously i wanted to speak to the Japanese agents to try and speak to them in Japanese, but we all ended up with two Thai managers to deal with our curious minds.
our assigment was to ask the managers questions.each and everyone of us.
I ended up asking him "Do you get any flirt calls from customers and how do you deal with them?"
but ended up pretty confused about his answers on the Ferrari and the bicycle?LOL.
but the fieldtrip was fun.because you know how much i LOVE other cultures and when you see asians in one place and they mingle around like they are all from one nation, i just get so easily touched and had a warm feeling about the whole idea.
i fell in love with the career in the contact centre.
i love to talk to other people, but scared to death of getting yelled at.
especially after hearing a call from an angry Astro customer.
but tell me now, which job on earth doesn't have its stress factor?
even when i have to travel everyday from seremban, i am still happy.
After knowing i'll be quitting the BTEC program, somehow i am a bit sad.
Now that i've known them and we're all getting pretty close, it's kind of hard to get separated from them.
Zinn, the most fluent English speaker with PERFECTLY pleasant intonation i've ever met.
Julia, the most talkative gossip girl on earth..seriously she could go on and on.
Dilla, a very confident ex-manager who respects others.
Ina, the most sempoi but stylish married woman.
Monica, the one who never looks down on others.
Faiz, the only funny Kelantanese on earth.
Hafiz, the dominant mama's boy.
Jai, shy but actually quite funny in person.
Ariff, youngest person of our batch with excellent networking skills.
Andrew, cute Indian with a brain.
...
All of these special people.
The thing that i really love about being in this program is that we have no language barriers, we don't look at each other based on the colour of the skin, we just support each other and do whatever we can to help others succeed.
I've never liked learning the way i love this class, seriously.
Especially not in UiTM, where i was only surrounded by Bumi's.
It's hard to say goodbye, when you always wanted to stay on.
Good things always, always, always come to an end.

Why Not Malaysia?

2009-03-14T13:30:00.004+08:00

No matter how hard the government is trying to promote racial unity and this wonderful idealism of Malaysia as a multiracial country that lives in harmonious state without any disapproval..it is sad to admit that it is all BS.
We are bound to racial segregation.there's no Malaysian in us, but we are always having to say we are either Malay, Indian or Chinese.where's the unity in that?
As how i despise the Singaporeans for the people's attitude, the Malays or other races in that country never address themselves as Malays, they always think that they are Singaporeans.
Even when you fill up the forms, you are either a Singaporean or non-Singaporean.there's no Chinese or Malay or Indian or Others options.
but here we have that race quota, you have to fill in the details, whether you are of a Malay descendant or Indian descendant or Chinese descendant or Others descendant.you can never exist as a Malaysian.a sad truth, but we RARELY see a group of people going out together as ONE happy group.it's either you HAVE TO go out with them because you need to co-exist, or it's just a painful obligation to not have them be hurt because you protest the idea of going out with those who don't share the same race as you do.
i love being malay..but sometimes it pains me to see how many of my own species who try so hard to live in segregation.just because of that reason they call themselves malay.
even in Islam there's that segregation.
there's no respect in us.we look at each other with a sense of trying to squeeze out the life in us and rip off that so-called happiness that others have.
sometimes other people just hate seeing us happy.why does that happen?
DENGKI.different point of views.
we live with that ever since we were born.
and here we are, trying to live as a country, but we inherently hate each other's guts.
we rather live as a country with just one race to deal with.
how can i ever change this way of thinking?

p.s.: i hope i'll get that job in ExxoMobil soon (Amin), and i hope there won't be any major segregation in the place i'm going to work at (Amin).

now why are there people who don't want me to work in ExxonMobil?because it's American?(is it American-born?)

HAHAHAHAHA.

Love Life.

2009-03-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

my blog is so dead.LOL.what telah happened?
i'm officially on training at PJ now, so i don't have time to write stuff here and there..
damn tired right now.and just now exxonmobil called for an interview..i think i just pissed her off for some reason..hahaha.i hope they won't bash me during the interview next friday.
so training so far has been superb.i never enjoyed learning something like this.
and the trainer is super nice, i wish i had him as my lecturer during degree days.
i mixed around a lot with the people, and that's a part of the whole training anyway..to get to know each other and work as a team.everyone else seems so friendly, and now i am no longer the unfriendly neighbourhood hero.hahahaha.i surprised even myself lah.
with william monitoring our moves, we have to wear CEO suits everyday.
i never knew i could get myself into such thing.
if i'm able to work with these guys, i bet my working days are not as dull as i thought it would be..
you have to answer the phone calls, but wth them around, i feel like i could conquer the world.hahaha.
super tired and i can't write well for now..
i hope you guys will have beautiful days ahead.
adios.

Are You Malay?

2009-02-28T19:35:00.003+08:00

I attended an interview with Scicom yesterday, got through everything, and confirmed a place in the job camp starting this Monday.
There was a question from this Chinese girl when we all finished the one-to-one interview.
She was asking this Malay girl from Kajang, "Are you Malay?"
I laughed.wondering what was her definition of Malay, i questioned her perception.
The Chinese girl is from Miri, still undergoing her degree program.
She said, "You don't look Malay." (while looking at me)
She continued, "Some of the Malays wear tudung and some don't. i'm confused." *laughed*
The Kajang girl replied to this, "Religion-wise, in Islam..you have to..you MUST wear tudung.but some just don't."
I was surprised, she knew the answer.
But it's not fair to judge a person based on the appearance, so i continued to explain it to the Chinese girl, "To wear one, you have to be prepared, what's the use in forcing yourself kan?hence, the result."
"Ah, now i know." *laughed*
I was surprised that i took the effort to explain it to the girl, though it wasn't the most detailed explanation, i'm glad she knows the reason now.
because everybody takes a lot of courage in what they do, and it was the same for me.
it takes a lot to be confident just by wearing one, to face the eyes of the prejudice, especially when you face non-muslim foreigners..
they might find wearing headscarves is unattractive, and the worst part is to think that muslims are just bunch of merciless terrorists..the reason why it's hard for me to get penpals from other countries with less than 5% muslim residents when i told them i'm a muslim.
they just have a predetermined picture of us in their minds, and they don't understand us, let alone try to understand us..because of the media.
i am proud to say that i am doing this because i love being a muslim, i am doing this for Him.
but there are still whispers of the negative minds.
so lemme tell you this, not all women who wear tudung is bad, but not all those who chose not to wear them is bad either.
when will you learn to know the root of the problem?

The Uncleaned Creature and the Boy

2009-02-16T17:42:00.003+08:00

if you read yasmin ahmad's blog you'd certainly know about this.it's a commercial on autism, based on a true story of shahrul and his son, adlan.what's autism?google it yourself, it's not that hard :)
adlan has been autistic for 7 years, until a dog came to be his saviour, or at least until that point.
dogs are creatures created by Allah, just because it's perceived as uncleaned, haram and najis, doesn't mean you have to be cruel to it.there's a reason to why it became a man's best friend.
we are all creatures of God, the only difference is, we have the brain to think of our actions.
but why can't we think?

the other day, i heard safwan spoke to his father:

Safwan:Ayah, tadi kita mengamuk.
Father: Kenapa nak mengamuk pulak?
Safwan: Ye la, kita mengamuk la.
Father: Toksah la mengamuk.
Safwan:Ye la, sebab kita nak ayah.

Children are very sincere with their feelings, they never hold it back.

Sorry Folks

2009-02-14T07:34:00.003+08:00

I have been bored with blogging lately, and like i told you before, i don't feel inspired to write.
hahaha, yes, i don't get myself either.
Yesterday was the day i had my fist interview.yes, my very first.whatever it is, it was ok, the people at the company were very nice and friendly.the tests were super easy too.but then i got too sincere, i told them i don't want to do programming.
what happens to those who decide to be sincere in interviews?they won't get a job.LOL.
sad truth isn't it?but the post itself is not appealing to me.i've always hesitated to do programming.
even though there was this networking guy, always buzzing in my ears,
"pegi lah, pegilah try programming, AI kan terer"
i just shook my head and said no.anything else but programming.
my first class as an AI student was dumbfounding.i just can't get it.
i might be choosy, but that's what i've decided since forever.but i at least tried the interview out.
if i got rezeki then can lah.
so after that, where else to go if not kinokuniya.hahahaha.
again, my duet mag march issue is not there.i couldn't find the novel i wanted either.pfffft.
because i was sooo near to petrosains, i met up with atyn and akak, they asked if we wanted to go for lunch together (i came with my sister, i forgot to mention), but i refused because i was very tired and sleepy, decided to go back early.
when i got back to seremban, i received a letter from SPA.i got PTD exams on 21st of Feb.&!Y&@YBGHBDWY*@(#)!(!__+**E((HFHJSE@^@&@&@&!!! THAT'S THE DAY I WANTED TO GO TO SUKURAIBA BDAY BASH DAMMIT!!!!!!!frust babe frust!!!!
and to release all the tension..
later that night we (cieda, farry, mimmie, zatie, alin and me) decided to go out, we had karaoke together and surprisingly i did a lot of singing.hahahaha.with my off-pitch ability of course.
bsb, westlife, awie, mariah carey, spin, sheila on 7..just name it.hahaha.i also did bollywood.LOL.
farry, cieda and i decided to give a surprise to the rest of the gang about the karaoke cuz we know if they know, they won't go and make excuses, in short, ngelat.the result is, zatie was singing a lot too.siap 3g with his bf lg, hahahaha.and she was saying she never sing a song her entire life.later, we went to a&w for dinner+supper.cieda forced me to bukak cerita and so i did.though i doubt they'll understand my reasons.and as usual they all supported me..*teary eyes* hahaha.
there you go, my malas story of the day.
so good luck idy for exams!!!ganbarimasu!!

The Perceived Life of Hers

2009-02-09T00:07:00.003+08:00

I just finished another amazing classic movie just now, Becoming Jane, a story about the author of the famous Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.
Star Movies has great romantic movies lined up for valentine's.
Though i am not celebrating it because of the very controversial reasons against my religion, i won't hate them for showing wonderful movies just for the occasion.it's what they do anyways.
The greatness of a love story depends on how well the characters convey their passion and need of each other's love.and how eye contact makes all the difference.
i just love james mcavoy's eyes.they sparkle when he utters his love devotion.
why can't people nowadays live like the days before?
so calm, passionate and patient.yet they live so happily.

if you love austen's work then you might consider watching this.i loved it though it might never be as amazing as her novels.4 stars out of 5.

The Girl in Pink

2009-02-06T18:36:00.004+08:00

It's Amanina's engagement day pix, finally posted.
I've been lazy, emo and many many many many many many confused feelings.
But surprisingly i'm alright.because i have LJ to keep me alive.hahahaha.
Since i sayang this blog and love to share the love of the wonderful engagement day, let's look at the photos.

ok that's all i have.hahahha.
the rest of the pictures are quite shaky and blurry.
and most of aman's expression was, how should i say..not appropriate for public viewing.
hahaha.i don't restrict my blog to certain users only so i can't risk throwing out photos of aman without her permission.
i hope all of you are satisfied with this.hahaha.
ain't she pretty?very Arabic.oh, and she's decided to wear hijab/headscarf/tudung as an ongoing thing..hence, just like what you see here.YAY ^^

Can I Quit?

2009-02-05T17:41:00.002+08:00

No, this is not about jobs.i haven't even got any job interviews.
Sadly the recession is playing a BIG part in my getting a job.
So, i'm stuck here at home.
Sometimes i wonder why can't i be selfish?
I have been thinking about others but actually none really bothers about what i feel or think.
I'm tired, spiritually and mentally.
So everyone's been telling me work makes you feel tiresome.
This work at home is tiresome also.
Oh wait, people don't count it as work kan..i'm not getting paid for it.
Hah, sgt depresi.

Note to self: Don't take it to heart idy, you'll find that happiness someday.ganbatte ne!

To Whom It May Concern

2009-01-31T23:47:00.006+08:00

I have abandoned you, dear blog.
I'm sorry, the writer's block strikes me.
Might due to the lack of inspiration..that life has to offer.
But i'm doing fine, if that's what you're asking..
Sunny days have such strong impact on my mood, and now it's been raining.
No, i'm not crying.haha.
I'm writing because recently i'm touched by how my family has been able to make me feel loved.
With no friends to listen to me whine, they have filled the empty spaces.
Good friends are hard to find..
Oh wait, i still have you, Fasha.LOL.
The new song uploaded for your listening pleasure is dedicated to all of you, those who have been around to cheer up my dull days :D
All my 10 family members, you are my strength.
And for that someone, thank you for understanding, and if there's a way for Allah to let us be together, we know that's fate.
I'm glad we could still get along and go on with our lives happily.

P.S.: i'll upload Aman's engagement pics later..when i feel like it.hahaha.
P.P.S: kinokuniya on monday!

Ashita

2009-01-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow i will be off to Ipoh in conjunction of Aman's engagement day.
So will meet up the rest of the guys there.
This is what happens during wedding receptions, engagement days..
People come to actually meet with the other people attending, not the bride or whatnot.LOL.
But we do want to see Aman's in her pink dress..alongside others.
I will be going with Atyn of course, since i can't drive.hahaha.
I hope tomorrow will be fun!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I finally made peace with him.
For the time being we will stay as friends, or else we will hurt each other more..
I hate seeing that happen, i know i'm not the only one hurting.
It's like today's weather..it's been cloudy all day..but i can see the sun beneath the clouds.
It's waiting for the right time to come out.
And shine on us.
There's always tomorrow to look forward to, and i hope better days will come.
InsyaAllah.

And My Days Were Totally Fine

2009-01-23T22:47:00.002+08:00

Salaam and hello, the beings of Malaysia.
I had been busy for these couple of days.
With shima a.k.a nyah OM who came to my house and had me cooking Prawn Massala for her, furthermore with the whatnots of my daily routine.
i can cook, but not good in manipulating my cooking skills.lol.what's with the talk?come to my house i'll cook something for you then you be the judge.besides, shima is the first and only friend from uni who had stepped into my house after the renovation.i need more friends to come over, though i promise you i am the type who is never good with hospitality.hahaha.
then somebody just had to mess up my day with a prank call, saying his name is Rizal (or something) and he's someone from Dell, to enquire about my job application.
i was so cuak that i made a fool out of myself with the answers and officially turn myself into a laughing stock T___________T
and it turned out to be bean, my ex-classmate.
i did call this Rizal guy back before, to show some interest, but the machine answered.
the machine DID say who i was reaching for, and that i should leave a message for this guy..name...$%&$$^&*$%% Ramli..(it was machine generated?the pronunciation for the malay name is totally off) after the tone..
and i did..but it totally slipped off my mind that bean's real name is Ridwan bin Romli.which explains the "Ramli" computer-generated name i heard before.
i am such a blur sotong.i might die out of embarressment.
anyways, today is the first time i met fasha..hahahaha..in front of my bad-feng-shui house.
i gave her the DVDs to share some J-love.
it was a nice meet up cuz i totally clicked with her.we were chatting like it was on YM, at least that's how it was to me, i don't know about her.hahaha.she might have hated me for being such a makcik with this baju kelawar..since she's way taller and thinner, and everything good..(this is pure jealousy)..hahahha.
hm..
and today marks the day i cried my eyes out.
simply because i couldn't get the rice into its container..
stupid isn't it?
but that was the time when i thought about everything else that doesn't work around me.
like how i am a total failure.
sigh.
should be better after a long deep slumber.

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee..or the Smoke from an Open Burning?

2009-01-21T23:38:00.003+08:00

i woke up with the smell of smoke from someone's house, they are burning something very flammable, the smoke was thick.
oh well..
It's been only 3 days since..?
but how i wish things could be a little different.
i don't want to make myself sound ridiculously pathetic and pitiful in many ways.
i'm picking up my strength, i'm facing my days head on.
"keep yourself busy", that's what people keep telling me to do.
so that i'll forget sorrowful stories of my life, they say.
and it worked like a charm.
but there are times when you just couldn't help but feel sorry for yourself, and be incredibly vulnerable.
at times when you just sit there staring into emptiness, wondering about the future.
thanks to those few friends i have in my LJ (it's f-lock though, you can only view my open-to-public posts.lucky you don't have to read my boring posts.hahaha.) for their encouragement to get me through this one hell of pain, though it is nothing compared to Allah's hell..i am now facing brighter days.though might not completely recover from everything.sigh.
but good news, i am attending a picnic session/reunion/lepak for the first time with these strangers next week, to celebrate our Arashi babes' birthdays.
if you are an Arashian, let's go!i know it's embarrassing, but who cares!hahaha.
to forget about things i just need to do something with the people that don't care about who i was before, but accept me for the present, ne?
just about this afternoon, Fasha sent me some blank DVDs to burn Celeb to Binbo Taro and Ryusei no Kizuna..and she left a note which says.."Cheer up".
though it's a simple note, it was pretty mushily thoughtful to me.
it got me thinking..
"no matter how rotten this world may be, there is still that one little crowd who cares about us, in which a world without strangers exists."
and with this little happiness it brings, i'm able to smile.

I've Built Up An Armor, Yet..

2009-01-19T17:10:00.004+08:00

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

- Neil Gaiman

I'm giving you the space, with hope that things will turn around.
i'll leave, even if it's not really what i want.
i hope you'll find the meaning, that'll make your life worth living.
for better or for worse..i'll be here standing.

thanks for everything.

When A New Soul Shines

2009-01-18T00:25:00.002+08:00

Nur Damia binti Muhammad Qiyam.
She's just about 18hours old.
Look at those eyes.
Look at the lips.
Look at the ears.
Look at those thin eyebrows.
Just look at her.
Isn't she a beauty?
And all the long-day scenarios:

Waiting the whole day at the hospital accompanied by Berlitz's Essential Japanese
Meeting Komathy after nearly 6 years
Touch 'N' Go card warning
Stubborn Africans asking me for a toll ticket
Wazer Maju for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Monkeys break-in and pooped around the kitchen.
Stupid Hantu Raya drama.

All these will be gone when i see her face.
Damia's face.

P.S.:abah is also admitted to the hospital for tonight after having his knee badly swollen due to stressful exercises.my family LOVES KPJ WAY TOO MUCH.lol.anyways, abd qiyam, if posting damia's photo is a bit inappropriate for you, i apologize!i know you wanted to be the first, but i'm just too proud to be entitled as damia's aunty.gomen ne!~

Awaiting the Birth

2009-01-17T02:51:00.004+08:00

My sister is now in the labour room.awaiting the moment to give birth to a probably baby girl.
I hope she's alright, and that Allah protects her and let her have a safe delivery.
My eyes can't sleep tonight, after so long that i have been sleeping early.
And this feeling, with the background music from oda kazumasa..saddens me.
Sayonara wa iwanai..
I wonder why does it feel so good to talk to strangers.
simply because they judge you less compared to those who have known you for years.
i wish i could erase the past, and live in peace.
but reality, like how hard it is to promote unity among malaysians, is a far cry from what i intended.
why do human beings suffer from agony?when on the outside it seems so peaceful and untouched from misery.
i longed for kindness, to help me escape.
to know that there's someone waiting on the other side, without hoping anything in return.
like a father who waits on the birth of a first new born child, i am waiting for my own rebirth into the world, as someone of the present, without a trace of the past.
at all.
but how do you erase the past?

Tell Me Why Love Can Be So Sweet?

2009-01-16T09:43:00.004+08:00

After watching the 4th episode of Akai Ito..
I just realized that even the most cliche plot-line dramas could win against star-studded dramas.
A-kun is just simple, Mei-chan is never the goody-goody type.
Perfectly normal.
Normal things that attract attention.
Definitely doesn't worth the low ratings.
wait wait check this out.

*photo credits goes to Yasmin Ahmad.

am i wrong for thinking mahesh look hot in this?hahaha.
i'm such a sinful girl with a diversification of love for other races.
malays do look hot as well, just like mukhsin.very classic hot.
and i have a thing for malay guys wearing baju melayu.
they turn me on.hahaha.
where have all the tradition gone?
i love them to bits!
by the way..
i think i'm greedy lately.
i am not thankful to god.
when everything's there in life, why do i feel i need more?
like how i need to improve on many things, in relationship for instance?
human beings are never satisfied because they look upon those who possess more than them.
but..does it mean anything when you don't feel any sense of achievement?

Time Out

2009-01-13T23:06:00.003+08:00

I will be away for a while (i dunno how long this will take..maybe a day, or two..or forever.hahaha).
but as soon as i get things done with my marketing thing (which i don't get much of it, really..hahaha)..i will serve you at my best :)
new season starts, i am currently downloading voice.
but for a new season we might experience slow progress in subs.
i might take a peek at the raw files and see how my japanese is progressing as well.
i can't wait for love shuffle, looks promising with the hot tamaki.
but with this project going on i can't even feed my needs for jdramas.
ya Tuhan, may all ends well for me, and for the people in war.
matta ne!

love,
idy.
(sounds corny la weh!hahaha.but i DO love you.)

The Suffering Souls

2009-01-10T01:38:00.007+08:00

The war has gotten into me.
With the rising number of casualties, and the inhumane attacks of the Israeli..
one can imagine the fear of these children..
Why does the killing of innocent women and children justifies what Hamas did?
And to say that Gaza deserves this, what could possibly makes you the better person?
For the civilians of Gaza..
For the Palestinians..
Allahuakbar!

Ya Allah, be with them.

* photo is not mine. i forgot to credit who?

The Night Owl Goes to Sleep at Early Night Now

2009-01-08T00:42:00.004+08:00

Sorry followers i haven't been writing much lately.
because i'm super lazy with writing an entry since everyday i sleep early and wake up early.
and i usually write something during the night.
now the nights are just super sleepy for me, ask Fasha my chat-buddy, she knows me too well on this one.hahaha.
so my days now are filled with morning activities, taking a walk from my house to forest height behind our taman or making at least 5 rounds of walking at kompleks belia dan sukan paroi.
i feel healthier now..(liar)..hahahaha..and i think i've lost weight..(liar again)..hahaha.
but i think this will make me healthier instead of stuffing myself with food at home.
so that wasn't really a lie.
of course, being the one who has been neglecting regular exercises, my legs were sore the first day.
but day by day i'm getting used to it and the only thing that hurts is my abdomen area due to the sit ups..i wonder if i'm doing it wrong?hahaha.were you supposed to feel pain after sit ups?abs area?health consultant please enlighten me!!
and so far i'm in no progress of getting a job, laziness is one factor, but i really enjoy being a housekeeper doing all the cleaning and tidying..i wonder if i should open a laundry service agency?me the boss, and me as the worker.all untung to myself.hahaha.
but what i want to do is..like really, this was an idea i had when i was in standard 5 actually.
to open up a bookstore, like a small one.which has everything from the books, to the cafe, the internet and even some decoration stuff for souvenirs.like something to be remembered of my small store.
then Kak Aqie actually suggested i open up another franchise store of MPH, but that would cost me desperation such as asking for Along's help.
seeing all my friends rushing for a job, kind of makes me nervous of my own financial state.
without a job, i won't earn anything.
but i hate seeing myself forcing into some jobs i don't enjoy doing and there's no learning in the things i love or have interests in.
and to be honest and i've been telling this to everybody, i hate programming.
but on Allah's will it happened to me and i accepted it, but i thought now that i have finished my path in pursuing computer science without having my heart in it, can't i at least find a job that will give me the true meaning of life, that will give me the feeling of peace.
i believe everyone does a job for a reason of their own, and this is mine.
though it might sound like an excuse, i don't want to lie to myself.
but in order to pursue my dreams, i need capital.
and if i just stay and do nothing, that won't help either.
so i just have to get a job, and collect the money.
that's just how the world works.
anyways, let's forget about that first.
on Kakak's request, this is a photo of our delicious ikan percik made by "lelaki-lelaki gagah" of the house: Abah, Abg Rahman, Abg Qiyam...
yes, we are all living under one roof in Seremban.
finally posted on my blog.the recipe, go ask Abah, he knows better.hahaha.

oishi~!!!oh, by the way i graduated watching my boss my hero (finally, it's been like 4 months since it's in my hdd)..the best i can say, definitely among my fave.it's different compared to the korean movie version, plus nagase tomoya's expressions were superbly hilarious.hahahaha.
haven't watch it, you should.4.7 out of 5 yo.
ok, eyes are saying.."go to sleep"..
so again, pray for my luck in getting a decent job yea.
love you all, really.hahaha.

P.S.: please pray for the safety of Gaza's people.ameen.and help me find my answers.

A Good Year

2009-01-01T23:33:00.003+08:00

2008 is now gone, with the new year is here, the year of the Ox..in which i was born.
i didn't go anywhere to celebrate, instead i stayed at home, slept at 1.
i was in front of my laptop waiting more updates on my LJ.lol.
last year good and bad things happen, but as human beings we need to focus on the present instead of dwelling in the past or hoping too much for the future.
new year resolutions?i didn't come up with any.
i believe everyday is a gift from Allah therefore, we need not another year to improve ourselves.to become something for the better we can always start, now.
but if that motivates you, then why not have something to start off the year?
i started my very first day of January 2009 at Kak Manja's house, visiting my uncle and auntie who had just came back from performing Haj on tuesday.
i spent the time playing monopoly with Aishah, Kak Manja's little girl.
She explained everything about monopoly to me, she's cute like that.
She can't speak malay but she understands it, which is a minus-point.
After that my family and i went to Ikea unplanned and ended up buying little toys for Hannah.
Who said babies don't know how to shop?
It was just another plain new year's day, but i was happy.
I guess being ordinary is the best thing after all.
it pretty much explains who i am.
Anyways, let's make more memories in 2009.
Happy new year people!!
Let's do our best this year..and get dirty rich.hahahaha.

My True Friend

2008-12-29T23:55:00.004+08:00

What is a friend?
i've been wondering my whole life about this.
does a friend bash you behind your back?
does a friend sarcastically say things about you that'll hurt your pride?
does a friend give you the cold shoulder when she/he know you are facing problems?
does a friend ignore you by not making you feel better when you are down?
does a friend let you go and drop the relationship?
how many friends do you have in your list?
i'm still searching for answers.
and i seek for your guidance, ya Allah.

P.S.: salam maal hijrah 1430H.God is great :) open up our mind and see things that are beyond our imagination.Allah is one true friend.He listens and He's never judgmental.

Too Old for Titanic

2008-12-28T01:26:00.003+08:00

Man, i have been waiting in front of the TV to watch titanic.
i don't even know why i pushed myself that hard.
and i fell asleep during the crucial moments of the movie.
yappari, too old for that titanic feeling i felt 10 years ago?
but leo looks so cute when he's thinner.ahahaha.
why do i have to wait till february for revolutionary road????
sigh.
i bought 20 blank DVDs today..( i just realize i posted "empty" CDs in previous post..is that even a correct term?hahahah.)
each DVD costs me only 80sen beb!
how cheap is that eh..but it's cap ayam la..
what you can expect from lower price items is..it's definitely non-branded.quality is ok-ok kot.
like what i bought, the DVD doesn't own a name.it just appears as "DVD-R" with the multispeed thing written on it..
but anything is better than verbatim DVDs.

btw, our Yang di-Pertuan Besar of Negeri Sembilan, Tuanku Ja’afar ibni Almarhum Tuanku Abdul Rahman, passed away at 11.45am yesterday..
Al-Fatihah..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i didn't even know about it until the auntie at jaya sewing store told me and Mak that he died.
then we heard the cannons, which were fired like how many times again?
so that explains why bernama's male news readers were wearing black songkok attached with the white ribbon.
and the auntie asked us, "Eh tak dapat cuti ka?esok mmg cuti lor..isnin pun sama..rugi la hoh."
death certainly is a big loss.

All I Want for Xmas is..

2008-12-25T23:59:00.011+08:00

.... mandi sungai!!!!
I went to Lenggeng Recreational Park!
we did set foot in Jeram Toi but there were like not less than 60 cars there.
imagine how many people you'd be seeing, i can barely find a place in the water.
the park is not really the best place in the state, but i had fun with the waterfall!
this time i can post the pictures.

also in picture: pak lebai from the neighbourhood.

ok not the best pictures to see, but i had among the greatest time ever.
because i went there with the ones i treasure in life :)

P.S.: let's go again, nature lovers!!

What To Do WIth Empty CDs

2008-12-24T23:53:00.004+08:00

I got soo many times with me during the night.
since i became the fulltime house bibik, my daytime is currently booked with chores.
yeah yeah, say "biasalah duduk umah buat keje umah"..c'mon hit me hard.
it's not easy when u got cats peeing everywhere around the house.
much more with the stray cats.
but since i love doing house chores, it's no biggie at all.
ngee.
aiyoh.
when i got those free time with me, this is what i do.
found the right FREE video converter.so no more lagging between the pictures and sound.
i took the empty cds left in my cd case, and and recoded ryuusei no kizuna's first episode to vcd format.
RYO LOOKS SO DAMN GOOD ON ACTUAL TV.
hahahaha.
and i also did the same thing with all the video clips i downloaded.
everything looks so big and colourful, unlike when i'm seeing it through my laptop screen.
TV is a great invention.
dig or diss?

P.S.: Esok Krismas kat Jeram Toi.yeeehaaaa!!!!if there's no snow in malaysia then there's always water!!

All Good Things Come to An End

2008-12-22T09:17:00.009+08:00

This is about the JDrama, Ryuusei no Kizuna

I just finished the whole drama today, since the dearest Kakijun has released the subs for the last episode (Kakijun, i love you!!hahaha.)
It's kinda fast considering it's one-person work.
To me, the whole drama is a new thing for Ryo, the role is kinda different, no more cool-type role.in this drama his role is the brother whose IQ is quite low, and slow at figuring what's going on.more to a normal person.and i am fond of those who posses normal character compared to the ideal perfect person.hahaha.unlike what Yamapi has been getting a lot.Yamapi HAS to get more akira-like role.
More crazy.not like what he was in Code Blue.
Anyways, back to Ryuusei no Kizuna.
It tells a story about 3 siblings whose parents had been killed in a tragic murder and how they tried to avenge their parents' death.
It's a not-so-serious suspense drama, with a wee-tle bit comedy.
Some might not like comedy-like mystery drama, but to me the comedy makes it all even more easy to digest.
And i really feel the bond between the 3 of them, like how siblings are, we always quarrel with each other.hahahah.Nino seems to bring out the best in acting as the older brother.so abang-ish.a man with an abang-abang trait is so adorable and HOT.hahaha.
Toda Erika is soo cute in this.and a stronger type of girl.not sarcastic like she was in Code Blue.and not so girlish like most Japanese teenage girls are.
I love the drama so much that i fell for the actors.
So all in all a solid 4.7 stars out of 5.
Japanese drama lovers, go watch it!!!!it's not a JE factor anymore.it's the drama itself.

P.S.: Thanks to my parents also for the makan-makan the other day.And Shah for the wallet, hehe.

It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Super Lame..Blah Blah..It's HYDF!!! And More.

2008-12-21T00:26:00.004+08:00

Hana Yori Dango Finaru (which means "final", since the japs like to pronounce it that way :p)
It's the movie, minna!!!
So anyone interested, let me know, i'll tell ya how to get your hands on these DVD rip.
I won't be posting the links here since i am in support of anti-streaming websites.
These people are killing fansub works.so, just to have my stand on the subject.
I am super-thrilled with the rip since i am a BIG fan of the drama series.
Let's catch a glimpse of Rui-sama again.hahaha.
Oh by the way i had a wonderful family day (to me it seems pretty much like it.haha) today.
Thanks for the delicious food, Kak Aqi & Abg Qiyam.
And thanks for adding more memories in my life :)
The Malaysian people are still the same, in terms of the good and bad.
But some still exchange smiles.
No matter how much i'd say i love to see the unity that this country could bring, there are some of us who don't even want to give it a go.
When will we realize that we are just Malaysians and colour doesn't even matter?
Oh well, back to reality.
And i need to find a job soon.
Wish me luck, people.

How Do You

2008-12-19T08:35:00.003+08:00

How do you know that he's the one?
How do you say things that you don't like about him without making him feel bad?
How do you express your worries about his peers?
How do you convey a feeling of consent?
How do you deal with insecurity?
How do you make him understand?
How do you try to accept things as they are?
How do you know that he's not lying?
How do you react to these kind of questions?

I wonder.

P.S.:come talk to me, Morrie.

Si Malas

2008-12-18T23:31:00.001+08:00

Sgt malas kebelakangan ini utk update.
Saya mencari inspirasi.
weehuuu.
Oh ye.result telah pun keluar, dan walaupun agak terkejut tp tetap saya bersyukur dgn ketentuan Tuhan.
Alhamdulillah.
Mari raikan!!

Tuesdays With Morrie

2008-12-15T23:34:00.003+08:00

I just read something that really change my point of view.
At least to me somehow, this is the way i view the world.
Tuesdays with Morrie tells a story about an old man, who had became a teacher of all, and never stopped hoping for the best out of his life, till the very end of his life.
I wept reading the book, it touches the soul so much that i envied anyone who became a student of Morrie..i finally realize i have never experienced a relationship like that.
and i thought, how lucky Mitch might have been, knowing a great soul that rescued him from drowning himself into work.
the book tells you of how we are too busy with life, chasing materialism, the things that we want, but not actually what we need.
it's sort of that self-help book you can find at the bookstores, but this one guarantees something for those seeking an answer.
because i found mine.
life is not about getting more money even though that is what the community wants us to believe.
we need money in life, but trying to find more and more and more will result in the failure to feel we have reached the target because we will never feel satisfied, thus making us want MORE.
what we need is love, with family, friends and the whole world.
like how Morrie has made it clear, without love, we will die.
this is definitely one of the best books i've read.
it made me look into life at a different perspective, with different things to look forward to.
treasure those around you more..and love.

P.S.:will the sun come out and play with the sky again?the world misses you.

When He Calls Me Sayang

2008-12-12T16:43:00.003+08:00

It was a fine friday noon, i was outside my house, to dry the clothes.
Then there he was.
"Adik, boleh aleh ini kereta tak.mau angkat sampah"
"Err..tak bleh ambik ke?saya tatau bawak itu kereta la..kena panggil ayah saya"
"Adik, boleh kasi ayer sejok tak?belum minum lagi la."
(HAH????!!!!)
but i just gave him a cup of plain water..using some old cup that has never been used for a long time..out of pity seeing him doing his work..
or that maybe i'm just plain stupid.
mati la kalau mak tau aku bagi gelas kat dia..
he drank the water, then he uttered, "Tak cukup la, sayang.."
WHAT THE EFF!!!how am i supposed to respond to a garbage collector that called me sayang???
i rushed inside, shouted for abah..
i decided to just give him another cup of plain water.again, i was being stupid?
when abah came downstairs, abah was furious, saying that he parked the car by giving enough spaces for the MPS to pick up the trash..
"Alasan la tu..saje tak nak kutip sampah..malas nak buat keje.."
the garbage collector heard abah's voice..he said his thanks to me, then he quickly took all the garbage away with him.
the cup?i threw it away.
abunai desuyo!!

Sedih

2008-12-12T00:02:00.002+08:00

Bila fikiran manusia terlalu cetek.
Bila manusia tidak tahu erti syukur.
Bila manusia tidak mahu belajar dari kesilapan.
Bila manusia terlalu gah dengan dirinya.
Bila manusia itu sombong.
Bila manusia terlalu dendam.
Bila manusia hatinya busuk.
Bila terlalu banyak perkara yang menyedihkan jadi.
Dan aku saksi itu.
Sedih.

P.S.:Tuhan, jauhkan aku dari sifat-sifat ini.

Sacrifice

2008-12-08T23:17:00.004+08:00

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse..
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.."

Dear I,

I believe in you.
That whatever it is, people may misunderstand.
My true purpose, my only aim.
Even if i've tried so hard, it still isn't enough.
People don't see through me.
And that i'm to blame, partly..or even wholly.
Though it may feel a little bit lonesome..i will be strong.
I will fight, i will strive to reach victory.
With you as my guidance for life, for eternity.
Only you..my one and only true friend..you are the one that always listens.
I seek for your forgiveness, for i'm drowned in my own selfishness.
Free me from suffocation, let me breathe the air of virtue.
You are every man's owner.you are the only creator.
Take this sorrow away and fix me, my dear I.

P.S.: i apologize, to whom i've hurt before..sorry.

Makan-Makan Itu Penting

2008-12-08T00:33:00.005+08:00

Abah was telling us how the neighbourhood is trying to organize a takbir-dari-rumah-ke-rumah (for english readers, try to learn our malay islamic culture to understand..hahaha) for this hari raya korban.
like how they always did it during aidilfitri.
they were discussing it during mengaji lessons at the surau.
Abah told the others that it would just be necessary for only two or three houses to prepare for some makan-makan, like a way to show how "polite" our culture is.
when you come to my house, i will serve you best.
sometimes, it is just the way it is. sometimes, it is a time to lawan one another.
what was done before this was, they would go to one house to another...did all the doa and takbir..and they would eat whatever that is served at each house.
and in our tiny taman there are about..25 houses?
so each house MUST prepare something to be served.
which would result in too much leftovers.
Abah protested to this awful tradition, which only burden the housewives who need to prepare the food..but only to know that not even a half of what has been prepared was eaten.
Because your stomach can only afford to eat at mostly about 2-4 houses max.unless u have a gigantic tummy..minum air je pun kalau setengah gelas at each house would make you puke.
But one of them answered " Mana boleh, orang datang rumah kita, mesti la kita nak jamu jugak..sekurang-kurangnya minum air ke.."
Abah replied, "Kalau nak buat minum-minum setiap rumah, lepas tu tak boleh nk buat minum je, mesti nak jamu makan skali..kita ni mana la larat sgt nak makan banyak-banyak..kan dh membazir je sampai 20 buah rumah kena sediakan makanan..niat kita nak takbir rumah ke rumah, kita mintak beberapa buah rumah je sediakan cukuplah..kenapa nak membazir.."
Like how you visited a relative's house, and they MUST prepare something for you, like the very least something to drink.that's the point Abah's trying to say.
They turned to silence, and no conclusion was made.
Until today, all they decided was having a takbir at the surau.
I wonder if all they ever cared for was the food, not the blessings of doing the takbir.
Like how people would ask Abah "Dah renovate rumah cantik-cantik tak nak buat kenduri kat rumah ke?kenapa nak buat kat dewan?"
Like how people see the khemah at a wedding reception and they whispered "La, tiga buah khemah je.."
The mouth will never stop complaining.

P.S.: Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha!

Stay

2008-12-06T00:39:00.002+08:00

I woke up today, feeling a bit sore all over my shoulders.
Must be the after effects of carrying heavy luggage.
Watching my sister and her husband made me feel in need of a massage.
I'm getting used to feel a little too comfy at home.
Since i'm in such a mood for cleaning, i started off cleaning downstairs.
But that was as far as i could go.
because i got hungry and there's nothing to eat at home.
i couldn't risk being a victim who dies due to starvation in her own house. hahahaha.
That explains the half-*ssed cleaning mission.
Cleaning is what i do to get things off my mind..
Probably explains why i am not really good in cooking.i love cleaning more.
So gomen nasai, i'm doing my best to learn my ways into cooking!
Moving along..so..
For lunch, Mak suggested a dine-out, so we mamak-ed ourselves with nasi briyani.
I followed Mak around KM Plaza and the Store to shop for her baju kurung and the upcoming of Kak Aqi's new-born baby's clothes..( is this sentence way too confusing?)
I noticed things are pretty much the same in the old rusty town of Seremban.
The buildings are still the old ones.
The same chinese fruit stall is still at the same location, but only with a new generation owner.
The same cambodian tudung and baju kurung seller is still operating in KM Plaza.
The people are still so colourful as before.
I haven't got the chance to walk around the town, for years.
That was my first, after 5 years.
I'm glad some things haven't changed.

P.S.: i love malaysia too much.

Steps

2008-12-04T12:09:00.005+08:00

Today marks the day that i will be leaving Shah Alam.
For good?I wonder.
Not that this place brings that much happiness.
Not that Shah Alam offers much.
Not that i found what i ever needed here.
Happiness and sadness, i found both here.
Not that i won't be seeing them anymore.
I definitely would.
What saddens me, is the fact that things might change.
Not that i'm against changes.
But i hate losing.
Leaving feels like having a deep cut in my heart.
But the tears won't come out, not until everything disappears.
It's heavier by the second, but i'll take these steps, i'll take it forward.
With this little strength in me, i'll say i'm glad to have found you.
I'll say that i'm the luckiest with what i got.

So i'm taking this memories with me, with hope things will always be the same.
Until we meet again.

P.S:Untuk kekasih dan kawan-kawan segilaku, aku sayang korang gile-gile beb, Seremban tak jauh pun.kan?thanks for everything and everything.sayonara.

Ryo Fandom

2008-12-02T01:00:00.008+08:00

What do you notice about this pic?

Stop it!HAHAHAHA.

Credit embryo_ed for the animated gif.

Because We Are Friends

2008-12-02T00:34:00.006+08:00

Firstly..

[1] Do you think you're hot?

my imagination is hot.hahaha.

[2] Upload a favorite picture of you.

[3] Why do you like this picture?

because we were so happy.

[4] When was the last time you ate pizza?

2 weeks ago?

[5] The last song you listened to?

Johnny's Ultra Music Power - Hey!Say!JUMP ---->atyn pasang.hahahha..

[6] What are you doing right now besides this?

just listening to the shouting voices of HEY!SAY!JUMP.

[7] What name do you prefer besides yours?

none.

[8] People to tag

1. Ezzan

2. Ifyani

[9] Who is no.1?

An ex-classmate during my diploma days

[10] No.3 is having relationship with?

there's no one at no.3.hahahah.

[11] Say something about no.5

None also.hahahha.

[12] How about no.4

No one again.

[13] Who is no.2?

My youngest sister.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next tag (I only chose this one, among the 3 tags.haha.sorry hidayah!ini je mampu.

Tagged by Hidayah Admar

1) When first time you meet him/her?

- who are u referring to?

2)what do you feel?

-ureshi?

3)what you feel right now?

- a bit sad, and the misery of going to miss something.

4)if your enemy do anything that you hate, what you will do first?

- let them go..?

5)give 5 characters that have at you.....

- unfriendly.
- don't talk much with new people
- blur
- sotong
- crazy

6) if he/her have broke your heart, what your action?

-cry, and learn a way to make amends

7) what character you like toward him/her?

- honesty

8) who is the name of no.1?

- so this is where its going..now i know la.

9) if your lover become your enemies, is it you will hate him/her?

- i have already hate one.

10) the most memorable thing he/her had done to you?

- who?the enemy?

11)the most thing that he/her have said to you?

- who again??

12)no.7 boy or girl?

- boy la..bukan refer to the question before?

13)who is no.9?

- this guy with the initials MYZ

14)to the person that always support to you?

- always appreciate them

15)10 people to tag...

no need la hoh..

Gomen ne, Juliet : A Fanfic Story

2008-11-30T21:35:00.002+08:00

Starring: Idyani Nazahiah, Nishikido Ryo (NEWS), Koyama Keiichiro (NEWS)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another boring day at the office. Though it is MY birthday. I wonder who knows that it's actually my birthday.I could only imagine that someday a prince would take me by the hand, rejoice the coming of a new-born love, of me and him.
My prince, my non-other-than Ryo. Though we are working in the same office, i never had the courage to talk to him. I only manage to throw a glance at him without knowing whether he knows who Idyani is.
It's a hot day, and it is Sunday. We are working even during weekends, and life seems so far away from being inside the mind of a carefree freeter. How I wish things could change around here.
Everybody is working their *sses off on each given task. Everybody is rushing to go home.
When suddenly the air-conditioning system breaks down. How great could it be for my birthday celebration?
For some security reasons, we are ordered to step outside, and sit at a corner of the building, where some benches are arranged for us to relax on.
I make my steps towards the benches, and sit on one of the benches alone, staring outside the windows, looking for something that I don't even know.
Ryo steps nearer, looking at the empty seat beside me. Without saying a word, he sits beside me, like he could careless about anything at all.
There is something that attracted us to get closer, before we even know it, we are conversing.
Like a love at first sight kind of thing, I suddenly lean my head on his shoulders. Amazingly, he didn't push me away, instead, he is smiling. Slowly his hand moved to hold mine, and he smiled with a blush. That's the moment of happiness on my 23rd birthday.
Suddenly Koyama entered the scene, unexpectedly on his knees.
Ryo is smiling at Koyama..I'm confused.
Koyama suddenly uttered, "Happy Bath-day, Idy-chan!!", while holding a diamond ring in his hands.
"Ah...sankyu.." I replied, feeling disappointed. Why Koyama??
"Gomen, for the acting..Koyama wanted to surprise you with the present. He's head over heals. About you."
My heart stopped.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I definitely suck at writing.hahahaha.this is definitely not a scene i came up with.this happened in my dream, this morning.man it was a hot sunday morning.so that explains the situation in this fictional story.hahaha.i dreamt of ryo people..like i dreamt about toma during raya.the only thing that bothers me, is that ryo didn't love me like toma did, instead koyama is the one destined in my dream.though i did a lot of thinking that koyama do look a lot like a person i once had a crush on.but why God, why do you have to create such horrible scene in my dream??LOL.
man, my japanese obsession is going overboard!i bought duet november issue JUST bcuz there are sooooo many pictures of ryo in it. and a poster of him with nino.hahahaha.
aku gile.period.. *drools over the pictures..*

A Crude Ending

2008-11-29T17:36:00.005+08:00

Today is the convocation day for dearest friends from my batch.. *congratulates each and everyone involved*
Sorry, i couldn't make it to the celebration, stupid virus invaded the pendrive when i was going to print my report, delaying every process of printing (terima kasih virus!!!!) ..
I'm slowly moving towards the day that i'll wear the mortar board again..
Now everything is finally over and done.like, FINALLY.
Alhamdulillah.
When the hardcovers are done, i'll be packing up my bags to move back to seremban.
Work?maybe after the official result is posted on the web, i'll send those resumes out.that's when the thrill starts, eh.
So here is the end of another schooling days.
Here is where i stop, until i decide to further my studies.
Life itself is a journey filled with learning experiences, so learning will never stop.
For everyone that has been taking care of me, befriended me and helping me throughout these years, please accept my deepest gratitude.
Like what probably most of my friends would say, i am a person who is not really good with words when i'm confronting them, i can only say it here, written.
i guess that's because i tend to hide my feelings most of the time..
i'm truly sorry for not being honest with all of you, with myself.gomen ne?
i also suck at long-distance relationship, with friends. the boyfriend?i don't know..Kedah is ~~kind of~~ far from my house..wonder how that would feel like.
this would probably mean i'm kind of a bad friend, though i admit i always think of each and everyone of you somehow.
believe me i'm trying my best to change that.
well, well..life is like this.you gain some, you lose some.
but i sure hate losing friendships.

Current Job: Tag Answerer

2008-11-27T17:44:00.003+08:00

The rules:-Link to your tagger and post these rules. List 8 random facts about yourself and tag 8 people

1. the name's idyani nazahiah binti mohammad
2. the age's 23
3. i adore japanese
4. i am an internet addict
5. am jobless
6. hates computer programming to the CORE
7. loves arts and music
8. i hate LIPAS, a MAXIMUM HATE

tagging
1. ezzan
2. ezan
3. shida-ezan
4. maclay_9802
5. ummu
6. ummu athiah
7. athiah_sha85
8. umu
(tak cakap pun tak bleh tag 2 org with different names, kan........HAHAHAHAHA)

your

first name:
Idyani
name you wish you had:
proud of my name, thank you.
what do people normally name you as:
id, idyani, zahi
birthday:
17 march 85..(proud member of the 80's babies!)
birthplace:
seremban, n9
time of birth:
in the afternoon, around 3pm??
single or taken:
single and taken
zodiac sign:
pisces

your appearance

how tall are you:
160cm?
wish you were taller:
yeah..but no too tall
eye colour:
dark brown@black(saje nk letak brown, cam konon best la..HAHAHAHA)
current hair color:
black keperangan
short or long hair:
medium-long hair.hahahaha.
ever dye your hair a bizarre color:
nope
last time you did something dramatic with you hair:
cukur a bit when i was in standard 5.soooo tomboyish
glasses or contact:
specs, it's an intellectual way of refering to glasses.hahahaha.
do you were make up:
not really good in it
paint your nails:
nah.pass.

in a opposite gender

what color eye:
dark brown?hahaha
what color hair:
karat if he's jsepet-looking?hahahahah.
shy or outgoing:
gila-gila, i'd say.happy all the way.
sexy or cute:
both.hahahah.
serious or fun:
fun la.
older or younger than you:
older.mcm pelik skit kalau muda.even just a day.
a turn on:
the abs.
a turn off:
got too much "tetek".HAHAHAHA.

this or that

flowers or chocolates:
chocs
pepsi or coke:
both
rap or rock:
rock
relationship or one night stand:
relationship
school or work:
school with an income.hahahah.
love or money:
admit it, can't survive without both.
movie or music:
both
country or city:
country is what i prefer nowadays.but near to the city.hahahaha.
sunny or rainy days:
sunny, but not tooo hot
friends or family:
a little bit of both

have you ever

lie:
yeah
stole something:
mase kecik2.hahahaha.<-----------attention seeker?
smoked:
once, but..decided i am sooo not cool for it.yeah, i am dorky.yadda yadda.
hurt someone close to you:
sadly, yeah
broke someone's heart:
unfortunately, yeah
had you heart broken:
many times
wonder what was wrong with you:
yeah..problematic.hahahaha.
wish you were prince or princess:
nah, i like it just like this
like someone who was taken:
oh..who hasn't?
shaved your head:
kalau blakon muallaf ke?
used chopstick:
yeah
sang in the mirror to yourself:
talk to myself more preferably

favorites

flower:
sunflower, tulip
candy:
tic tac
song:
iris by goo goo dolls
scent:
minyak atar la.HAHAHA.
color:
black
movie:
too many
singer:
alanis morrisette
junk food:
skittles?junk food ke?
website:
malaysiatoday.RPK!HAHAHA.
location:
living hall
animal:
cats

misc

ever cried over someone:
yeah
is there anything you wish you could change about yourself:
yeah
do you think you're attractive:
i believe in myself.
if you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose:
shrek.HAHAHAHA.
Do you play any sports:
none.i know i know.bad for my health.

"Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas

2008-11-26T15:09:00.004+08:00

finally something i really feel like doing :)

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down NO MATTER HOW silly it sounds.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" ... you say?
- "Viva Forever" by Spice Girls (nice..hahahaha)

2. How would you describe yourself?
- "T@!65thhewgyegbfi&*&^" by The Classic OST (it's in korean characters, how the hell am i supposed to understand????!!!)

3. What do you like in a girl?
- "Titian Perjalanan" by XPDC (kena kena, mmg kena..hahahaha)

4. How do you feel today?
- "Honey" by Mariah Carey (honey got me hooked on you...RYO!hahahaha)

5.What is your life's purpose?
- "All That We Needed" by Plain White T's (yes, all i needed)

6. What is your motto?
- "Could It Be Any Harder" by The Calling (ya Tuhan, motto aku..how ungrateful..hahaha)

7. What do your friends think of you?
- "Sometimes" by Britney Spears (cam btul je..kadang2 je dorg pk..ahahahaha)

8. What do you think of your parents?
- "March of the Conqueror" by Hachimitsu to Kuroba OST (hahahah..cam gerun..hahaha.)

9. What do you think about very often?
-"I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance (gile bermasalah hidup..adeh.)

10. What is 2 + 2?
-"Thunder" by Boys Like Girls (am i that stupid?)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
-"Sesuci Lebaran" by Siti Nurhaliza (what the ef??)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
- "Somewhere Someday" by 'NSYNC (there's always hope.hahahaha)

13. What is your life story?
- "Can't Stop Loving You" by Phil Collins (minna daisuki!!!)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
- "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard (HAH????)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
- "I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man" by Jordan Knight (i like GAY?????)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
- "Make A Move" by Lostprophets (woohoo?)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
- "%%#@%^72656363627" by The Classic OST (another korean song, sedih weh!)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
- "Anyone of Us" by Gareth Gates (are you thinking what i'm thinking?hahaha.NO WAY!!)

19. What is your biggest fear?
- "Little by Little" by Oasis (doesn't make sense?)

20. What is your biggest secret?
- "I Can't Tell You Why" by Hanazakari no Kimitachi e OST (huh, kena kena..hahah)

21. What do you think of your friends?
- "Feel Your Breeze" by V6 (like those gokusen theme story la..caya lah)

22. What will you post this as?
- "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas

I want to tag: Ifyani, Marlynn, Atynoz, Zarirah, Lilly's Mommy

May I Say Something?

2008-11-24T21:43:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling better, gradually.
the boyfriend, i'm really sorry.gomen ne?
so, this report i have to do..will have to do the corrections.
and with high hopes, may it be approved and will then get to do the hardcover.
amin.
so mimie text me the other day, asking about our planned holiday in perak.
i have to say, she just did it at the wrong time.
plus i'm on tight budget.with all these things need to be finished.
unfortunately i am jobless, and am not born into a wealthy family.
which i am very thankful for..(alhamdulillah)
to go and ask Mak for expenses just for myself to have fun..i am not some high schooler anymore.
oh how i wish they could just offered me a loan for the holiday.
like, "we don't get off days much, while we are at it, let's have some fun, i'll pay for you." sort of thing..
i sound like a dirty cheapskate.hahahaha.
kidding la eh..kidding.
tough luck eh.
maybe next time la girls, when i earn my own money.
sorry *puppy eyes*

Because of An External HDD

2008-11-23T19:41:00.002+08:00

Because of something unexpected, my RM200 worth of HDD is now..probably a goner.
I'm so sad that it made me cry.
Yes, an external HDD made me cry.
none of you would probably understand..
it has such a sentimental value.
the boyfriend couldn't make me feel better, but had to worsen it.
thank God my family put some sense into me.
sigh sigh sigh.
make me laugh.
anybody?

Kawan-kawan, Hally Kawin!

2008-11-22T19:50:00.003+08:00

I'm so tired.
So let's post a picture during the reception.
Hally looks so happy, she shines!
Congratulations Hally!
sorry again..so sudden, we didn't buy u a gift.
semoga bahagia hingga bergenerasi!!

Kita Sedara Weh!

2008-11-22T05:05:00.002+08:00

Aku dapat khabar berita ini dari Anna Joe.
Sememangnya aku tidak percaya.
Langsung.
Langsung.
Lagi sekali, langsung.
Michael Jackson telah memeluk Islam.
Alhamdulillah, tambah saudara seIslam.
:)
Aku selalu teringat Zainal Abidin bila dengar pasal Michael Jackson.
because they have songs about making the world a better place, about nature, and sorts.
man, Islam is SUGOI, ne?
i bet this news won't spread that quickly in Yahoo's omg.
well, when it comes to Islam..they just don't want people to know.
kan?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now playing: Michael Jackson - Heal The World
via FoxyTunes

The Day of Makcik-ness

2008-11-21T10:03:00.004+08:00

on request, i must update my blog.hahahaha.
had my most nerve-wrecking day of final year project presentation yesterday.
i totally slept in yesterday because my head was heavy due to lack of sleep..so i woke up with swollen eyes.my head still hurts.
presentation surprisingly went well..i thought i was gonna be crushed by dr.azlinah, the most superior examiner of all..alhamdulillah, God was again answering my prayers by switching my exminer.
how lucky it went for me and it was just Allah with His great powers.i'm just so happy it turned out fine.i won't mind getting any grade at all, including c..as long as i will get this over and done with.
everyone that came and support..arigato na!
even those who said these kind of stuff:
"buat research je?senangnya.."
"AI bleh ke buat research?mcm senang je?"
i did my research with my own effort, i did the posters, i did the brochures, i did not outsource any of it to anyone..so i can say it here, it might be a simple one in your boastful perspectives, but i am DAMN proud of myself right now that i can shout it out tho the whole faculty.
i even explained that to the booth visitors, if you feel you can't do programming, why not do something that you can?
because most of them weren't that interested in my project, they were interested in how i did my presentation and how my kind of research needs to be done.hahahaha.
some were lucky enough, some just got it bad.
you can't really argue on what's easy..mcm tu aku bleh ckp..that certain program is easy compared to mine..tak payah bukak booth and all, tak payah present beriya..or some just didn't have to present at all..
the level of a person's ability varies..you can't really say it's easy for all..
then again, that's what I think..
what YOU think, well,we can open a forum, have a discussion, it won't end, i can guarantee that.
it's not really over YET.
i just have to make sure that i won't be getting a TL (tidak lengkap) that i can finally submit the final hardcover report.but judging from yesterday, i think i won't.i hope i won't be getting TL.AMIN.
this is my makcik face on the day of presentation.
so nervous, i look like makcik.~~selalu comel je..hahahha~~

yay for me!
say, YAY!!!!

MY455

2008-11-17T05:06:00.000+08:00

Been busy lately so expect nothing much from me these few weeks....eceh, cam la hebat sgt trafik blog wa.
It's like, work work work, circling around me.though people don't see i'm that busy.
My head can't stop thinking.
I'm back to seremban for the weekend, now back to shah alam.
Went to Kak Manja's house, Mak 'ndek and Ayahman will be flying to perform their haj.
I wish them a safe journey, also all the best with what needs to be done.
I dunno for how long i'm going to stay in shah alam anymore..i sure hope i can pass this, even with no flying colours.
Weekend passes by so fast, now it's monday.haiyoh.
My internet connection kinda suck since yesterday, i've been downloading yamada taro monogatari and sensei wa erai for like gazillion times with megaupload.somehow when it reaches 95% of the download the connection just disappears into thin air and then it came back with no guilt.
the uploaders also, on the other hand give us damn BIG files.
How i WISH they could split it into like 100mb per file.
How i WISH streamyx would actually give us more promising service.
HOW I WISH.
now, the tag..given by my imoto, ifyani.

Name five of life’s simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick 5 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used.

1. the laughing faces of people
2. friendships
3. unity among citizens of the world, regardless of their skin colour.
4. being born a muslim and in a moderate-living ordinary family
5. sounds of music, either created by instruments or from nature itself.

The person who tagged you is ?
Ifyani..lagi dan lagi.haha.

Your relationship with her/him is ?
my little sister

Your five impressions of her/him ?
a bit stubborn, always thinks ppl underestimate her, kawaii, unique in her own way, brainy

The most memorable thing she/he had done for you ?
helping me when i'm in need of..anything.hehe.

The most memorable thing she/her had ever said to you ?
"takde pape la"..yes, that's what i remembered.

If she/he become your lover you will ?
APE GILE KAU.she's my sister.wth.dah sumbang mahram, lesbo plak.

If she/he become your lover, a thing she/he has to improve on will be ?
enuff of trying to "sesatkan" me

If she/he become your enemy, you will ?
never.i will make peace.

If she/he become your enemy, the reason will be ?
she's brainier? is that a word??

The most desired thing you want to do for her/him now is ?
make her laugh more.

Your overall impression of her/him is ?
secretive

How do you think people around you feel about you ?
probably gets annoyed all the time..probably spread rumors, probably hate me..probably fell in love with me..probably think i'm ugly...probably think i'm ordinary..probably think i'm cute...hahahhaa.what do you think, eh people?

The character you love of yourself is ?
that i love myself.

On the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?
hating myself.

The most ideal person you want to be is ?
a woman who can help many suffering souls.

To people that care about and likes you, say something.
minna-san, sankyuuuuu!!!aishiteru yo!!! (everybody thank you..i love you..whatever the translation is.hahahaha.)

Tag:

Marlynn..ezzan..and probably this person

PS.:Wish me luck, final year presentation this thursday peeps!nervous like hell, i wish i could eat itik.

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Now playing: Nishikido Ryo - Ordinary
via FoxyTunes

My Very "Modern" Look

2008-11-12T07:04:00.004+08:00

I'm pasting the tag Tya wrote on her blog.
Including those cute little icons.except for few things i left out.
well here it is, the tag:

It called 'Pure pic' :

1) of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2) Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instruction with your picture.
5) Tag 10 people to do this :

I would like to tag my ten dearest friends;-

Ezzan
Ifyani
Marlynn
Sis Dayah
Hally
Eyka
Diana
Zahir
Sis Dee
Jivi

sorry Tya i absolutely tried my best being creative, but this is as far as i can come up with.a total copy.hahaha.hope you don't mind, credit goes to you.i just changed few things, and the photo,guess i broke the 3rd rule.i had to edit it a bit cuz i can't be showing my hair to the public since i'm wearing tudung.trust me that is all that i edited in photoshop.you can see the not very smooth skin.hahaha.and this is using my laptop's webcam.expect the quality.
so tag tag, mari mari!

Well Well

2008-11-12T00:58:00.000+08:00

Mak is in the hospital, with lung infection.
But, gladly she's getting better :)
With this i think God is answering my prayers.
Weekend was so tiring, i'm still tired as i'm typing this.
Even typing is tiring, i wonder what writing would do to me.
Tya photo-tagged me, but with that it seems impossible for me to do it..under the circumstances.
but i will give my best later.though this one thing is going to be considered as breaking the rule.
Will proceed with this first.and maybe later, the tag.
For now, let me rest.
Gachi Boy, Scrap Teacher, Ryusei no Kizuna, Oh! My Girl! Celeb to Binbo Taro..
All good.
Next on the line..
Poster and brochures for FYP presentation.
Minna, please pray that i'll get through this.that i will pass my FYP.
And also for Mak's health.

P.S.: Worried sick of everything.take this away!

Selamat Hari Keputeraan

2008-11-07T01:14:00.002+08:00

I'll make this simple.
Happy birthday, dear Shah Efandy.
Happy many returns of the day.
Happy living the days in the way you believe that will bring you happiness.
Happy pursuing dreams, that you hold onto.
Happy exploring new things, new world.
I hope you believe in miracles.
Because it brought us together.
Alhamdulillah :)
Congratulations on being a year OLDER! :D

p.s.: let's get married fast!hahahaha.

The Last, Maybe

2008-11-05T21:51:00.002+08:00

Today i submitted my sloppy final year project report.
i thot it's nothing much to be bragged off, but i'm proud of my own effort in finishing it.
the rest, it's tawakkal.
i really hope that this will be the last, no matter how it is going to be.
minna, pray for me pls!

Air Mata Kering

2008-11-04T14:16:00.002+08:00

Hari ini, aku terasa seperti sangat sedih.
Hari ini air mata aku turun.
Hari ini ia tak nak berhenti.
Tapi pipi aku langsung tak basah.
Cuma dalam hati, tuhan tahu aku menangis.

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Now playing: NewS - DREAMS
via FoxyTunes

The Tough Weed Goes Movie

2008-11-02T10:13:00.006+08:00

Another post about japanese production..hahaha.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fasha found Hana Yori Dango Movie Final thru the TGV website, when she asked me whether that is the real deal.
If it's up on TGV, it's not some 2-hour special drama of games and fun time anymore.
It IS the real movie.not some "the making" SP.
No doubt it is the real movie.and i'm repeating myself again.haha.
So us, the jdrama fans, went to the nearest cinema to catch the ugly MatsuJun on the silver screen.ugly as defined by Atyn and Kak Far.
Though i think MatsuJun is the only one who can play the role of Domyoji right.because Domyoji looks cute when he's the silly and stupid Domyoji.
Plus he's one of Arashi's, and Arashi is FAR better than NEWS, in my opinion.though that doesn't have anything to do with this.hahaha.
Anyways, the movie was hilarious, just like the drama, and there are touching moments of Makino and the stupid rich F4 leader, but because i'm watching it with these two crazy people, it's impossible to enjoy it wholeheartedly.hahahaha.
It was superb, and there's not much re-run of the drama.just few of the cute moments of them together :)
I guess they won't be stupid enough to make it just another re-run SP when it's a movie.
My RM11 ticket is worth every sen, but the only problems were the sound sytem at TGV, and they cut the scene off a few seconds at the ending of the movie.cheapskate.and everyone was sighing when they turn us off like that.
Overall, if you love hana yori dango previous drama series, you'll love this one.
i'd give 4.75 out of 5 stars.go watch it while it's still here!!!(selected cinemas).
It's better than watching movies like "Tropic Thunder" with only dirty jokes to offer.even if tom cruise is in it.hahaha.
and enjoy your weekend, minna! :)

p.s.:it's like i have sooo much free time with me eh?this is just a stress reliever.don't be too hard on yourself!take some time off!

What's Unethical

2008-10-31T12:46:00.006+08:00

Lately there's this hype on one of the threads on D-Addicts about streaming sites which stole their hardwork of subbing asian drama series.
those streaming sites took the soft subs (even hardsubs) and somehow edited everything and claiming that the work is theirs.and some even claimed they did ask for permission from the fansubbers and all, but before getting approval, they already uploaded the subs on their sites.
well i am sure most of you are familiar with crunchyroll, mysoju and other asian streaming websites..
i did watch some of the jdramas there before downloading, bcuz i wanted to catch a few episodes before wasting my bandwidth on something unnecessary like when i downloaded yukan club.
the videos, what can you expect from streaming websites, it's super LOW quality.pixel semua pecah.i don't like watching videos, knowing i can't recognize who is who?
downloading alone is unethical.
if i want to buy the series in malaysia, what you can expect from the video stores are just some chinese bootleg.what we bought are just the same as what we watch from downloading online.even though sometimes they even claim the video is ORIGINAL.it's totally crap.
so since this issue of streaming websites will never end, some fansubbers are stopping their subbing work, putting it on hold until those subs on streaming sites are taken off.
which is the reason why i can't watch bloody monday with subs.
so these people on the streaming sites, i know they are actually helping those who cannot download due to issues like ip sharing or no computers, BUT if your ripping it off people who don't give permission to do so, that's even more unethical.
by all means, even those who prefer to watch online are also unethical like the admins of the websites.because without watchers, such websites won't exists.
i mean we are a bunch of unethical people, the downloaders, even the people who support streaming websites.
BUT, by having those subs to be uploaded on streaming websites, it's causing an exposure to the fansubbers, in which will somehow put the fansubbers at risk of being caught for copyright infringement.so these fansubbers want to keep the work going, because some part of the world doesn't have any access to buy these kind of dramas in their area.these stupid streaming online websites are just selfish because they are making profit out of other people's work..even worse they are putting people at risk without even thinking of the consequences towards other people.
i am so pissed off, because of these stupid people, fansubbing are going to extinct and i have to revert back to the days buying chinese bootleg videos which don't even have the colors to the video files right!!!!
but on the other hands, it's giving me time to finish my report with an ease of knowing i can't watch anything for now.hahahahaha.

p.s.: it's premenstrual syndrome.

Tiada Masa, kot?

2008-10-29T21:07:00.004+08:00

I just have time only for this, must finish my report by nex week.
I'm ganbatte-ing to reach the dateline!!!
Thanks Diana Hamasuba for tagging me!

My Top 10 Most Favorite Food.

1) Mak's

2) William's western food (mcm Diana)

3) Cake

4) Takoyaki

5) Creamy ice cream

6) Lasagna

7) Spaghetti

8) Nasi ayam.

9) Roti

10) Kuey teow tomyam

10 Things I love To Do.

1) Ber-internet

2) Ber-download

3) Ber-keluar dgn Shah

4) Ber-balik rumah

5) Ber-tengok movie,

6) Ber- japanese drama

7) Ber-lukis, ber-decorate (yang mana sudah lameeeeee tak buat)

8) Ber-traveling

9) Ber-santai

10) Ber-baca

5 Things I Love To Do When I'm EMO.

1) Ber-dengar lagu

2) Ber-nyanyi

3) Ber-menung

4) Ber-pikir

5)Ber-pohon pertolongan Allah.(cara ini paling berkesan, jika anda percaya pada kekuasaan-Nya)

5 Types of Guys I Adore.

1) Kelakar, gila pun takpe.hahahaha.

2) Sempoi, bukan mat smart sgt.

3) Yang kasihkan family dia, yang mahu tolong isterinya jika dia sudah berkahwin..(ok jgn salah phm, aku tak amik laki org.)

4) Bleh debate tentang isu.

5) True to himself, won't lie, honest, supportive.

5 Things I Love To Do When I'm HAPPY.

1) Act silly

2) Smile

3) Sing

4) Think of how greatful life is, thanks to God

5) Ketawa dgn org-org gila mcm saya.

5 Things I Wish To Happen.

1) Live in the countryside of Japan.visit japan,everything japan.hahahaha.

2) Hidup happy bersama org yg penting, tak mahu kaya sgt sampai lupa semuanya, hanya mahu bersederhana.tp kalau kaya pun takpe asal aku ingt asal usul.hahaha.

3) Ber-kerjaya yang aku minat.

4) To be someone better, tak mudah mengkritik kesilapan manusia, sedangkan aku pun teruk.

5) Untuk jumpa ketenangan.

5 Persons I Wish To Tag.

1) Marlynn (ingat status BZ tu bleh caye sgt ke?hahahaha.)

2) Atyn (ko ingat aku tak baca livejournal ko?hahahahaha.)

3) Ify-chan (though u are busy with exams)

4) Lily the cute, adorable, lovable, beautiful baby.the mother also can do this on behalf of her cute baby.hehe.

5) Abg qiyam.

Saya Pada Kelahiran Lepas - Sebuah Kisah Pengajaran

2008-10-25T01:15:00.008+08:00

Beginilah saya ketika zaman jahiliyah.
Baguslah kini saya tidak lagi mengamalkan perkara-perkara yang menyebabkan rupa saya berubah seperti ini.
Manusia boleh berubah.
Anda bila lagi?
Berubahlah sekarang!

Untuk marlynn di mana saja kamu berada.

Tak Kot..

2008-10-22T18:24:00.004+08:00

I have been given these awards, though i don't really believe in awards and stuff, cuz i don't think that my blog has such impact anyways, but the thought is much appreciated :) thanks rosesrosz!

I would like to..give this to my sis, my bro in law and also..marlynn.hahaha.

I ♥ My Supervisor

2008-10-22T03:21:00.003+08:00

For the first time in life i met a lecturer who doesn't give me a cold shoulder when i told him what went wrong with me and my situation.
For the first time i felt like there's room for me to believe in local educators.
He made me feel proud of myself and he made me feel relieved.
He made me smile BIG.

I Saw Mahesh

2008-10-21T02:08:00.003+08:00

*video taken from The Storyteller

This is Mahesh.Mahesh is the son.
The one with the eyes that talk.
The Mahesh i'm talking about is the one who wears the blue tshirt.
Not the kid, not the grown pilot.
Mahesh reminds me of someone.
Someone i missed.

P.S. Happy Deepavali to my Indian friends, though none actually reads this.hehe.

Then That Was It

2008-10-20T20:50:00.005+08:00

My weekend was filled with so many open houses and fun-filled activities.
Only then we were able to take some raya photo of the whole family.
Everybody was having loads of fun, likewise feeling tiresome.
And, i unexpectedly went beraya with these kids, with them having so much stories to tell.
I was again, the one with no gossips.no aku-skandal, i wished i have more to tell, but really, there isn't any.i'm dull, i know.haha.

* not in pic: Fahrina

I was so happy, i wanted to shout "Minna, daisuki!"

P.S.: can't write much, cuz i'm worrying about everything in my life right now..BUT, the subs for hanakimi special is out, but not hardsubbed, you gotta wait like 100000 years till it's out.so if you can't wait, the .srt file is here to help you get by your cravings on hanakimi.have a pleasant day ahead.

My Family and I Go for The Award

2008-10-18T01:22:00.003+08:00

Since Kakak has been transferred to Putrajaya, our family here in Seremban has been quite busy.
So every night we could hear Safwan, being the spoilt brat that he is when he is with his dad, cries for attention.it seems like Hannah is taking her steps after her stubborn brother.
so Abg Rahman and Kakak would be stuck between the two.
i can see how tiring it is to raise a child, but the fun is always there.
Abg Qiyam brought Sepi DVD borrowed from his friend, so Kak Aqi decided we should open wayang for tonite.(note:the DVD is ori, OK.i am not some tokei cetak rompak.i don't do it to gain profit)
Our movie started at about 9.30pm.
Sepi was great, as expected from a Kabir Bhatia movie.i think he should be awarded for "Datuk" instead of that Hindi guy Shah Rukh Khan.at least Kabir Bhatia contributed a lot in coming up with beautiful scenes of Malaysia in his movies, even if it's just behind someone's terrace house.it looked so beautiful.like from KL to Taiping.he must have done a lot to get those beautiful scenes right.hear me say.NOW I CAN BE PROUD OF MALAYSIA, for what he did with his movies.i think prof madya abdul razak mohaideen can learn a lot from him.from scratch.ok, that's too much.hahaha.
Sepi is quite a tearjerker, but i didn't cry, probably because i was too busy watching the kids.
now this is the reason why you shouldn't bring your kids along when watching movies, it distracts you because you worry too much about what the kids is going to do.hehe.at most of the scenes, i felt that i can feel the characters pain and happiness, in losing and in gaining.
so, sape tak tengok lagi, it's highly recommended.
well, only by watching that, we were gathered as one.
only by doing simple things, we can treasure everything we have.
at the point where you think your life has ended, it will come back to life.
that's what i believe.
so here i stand, proud of what has been bestowed upon me, the award from Ezzan.
thanks to ezzan, but truly, this means nothing without my family.
so i'm sharing it with my beloved ones!

P.S.: I Love You.

(This sounds sooo like Gerard Butler..aww.LOL)

The Short Boy, The High Jump Fool and The Simpleton

2008-10-16T23:57:00.012+08:00

Hanazakari no Kimitachi e SP aired last sunday.
No subs whatsoever, just the RAW special episode.
But, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on.
Plus, it is a good way to learn japanese.
The boys are the most kawaii bunch of fools.
I even made these animated pictures of nakatsu, the kawaii-est of all :)
One way to ease out on daily problematic routine.stress, begone!even if it's just for a second..

P.S.: it may take some time for the images to load, cuz it's quite big in size for animated gifs.

Padam

2008-10-15T14:46:00.002+08:00

Ketika membuat keputusan untuk format semula laptop ini setelah problem standby mode yang tak selesai, aku rasa seperti dunia hilang seketika.
perlu sangat ke install Vista?katakan tidakkkkk.
Aku ter delete partition D aku dengan confident-nya beranggapan semua fail telah aku bekap ke external HDD.
Ya Allah, ujian.
Aku terasa seperti mau nanges.
Nasib kerja-kerja untuk FYP aku sedia bekap dalam external HDD.
Tapi gambar-gambar zaman hingusan ku tiada.
Lagu-lagu zaman hingusan terpaksa dicari semula.
Hasil-hasil design blog juga hilang.
Memori aku pun tidak mampu tanggung kesemua kenangan yang saiznya bergig.
Semuanya padam.
Tanda aku sudah tidak perlu fikir yang lepas lagi.

The Fact That I Am Dumb

2008-10-14T01:21:00.005+08:00

If there's a way to jump off a cliff and die, i would.
If i haven't had faith in God, i'd do it.
But there's no way life has been hard on me now.
Not like what i've felt many years ago.
Now, everything falls into the right place.
Except that there's one worrying me.
The non-other-than you-know-what (or you don't?).
I have no faith in myself.
I felt that i can never do this.
I have no teachers with promising words to encourage me.
No Yankumi nor Kawato by my side.
I felt like a child, with dyslexia.
Though that shouldn't be said, as God has never given me such disability.
But this feeling with difficulty in doing things, i couldn't just get it.
Wish i could fly, free from this misery, that no one could ever understand.
You, would just eventually be, alone.

Hadiah Ini Untuk Aku?

2008-10-11T13:08:00.002+08:00

Aku dengan cerita yang cerdik.
Benarkah?hahaha.
Apa pun terima kasih Zahir untuk anugerah julung kalinya.
:D

Entry

2008-10-11T02:39:00.002+08:00

Want to write something here.
But the mind is empty.

Dell gone, Acer is now my new companion.
I missed Dell though.
This Acer was the only one that i could get below 1.9k.
So from now on, Acer, yoroshiku!

I hope my old laptop gets a good owner.like me.hahaha.

Erti Marah

2008-10-08T03:23:00.002+08:00

Serabut.
Hari ini aku amat serabut.
Izin ibu telah aku peroleh.
Sokongan kakak teguh menguatkan aku.
Namun ujian tuhan sangat banyak, walaupun sekecil makhluk.
Walaupun kecil, namun hati manusia lekas menyalahkan keadaan.
Lekas menuding jari.
Lekas mencari salah pada makhluk lain.
Enggan melihat diri.
Enggan mengaku silap.
Akal aku terlalu cetek.
Akal aku tak mampu memikirkan hadapan.
Hanya bila terjadi, sesal itu muncul.
Manusia, aku manusia.
Manusia yang pernah menjadi sekeji-keji manusia.
Aku silap.
Dan tadi, aku silap lagi.
Ampunkan aku kerana terdetik rasa ini.
Marahkan-Mu, ya Tuhan.
Aku tak layak.
Maaf.

Marilah Beraya?

2008-10-07T01:39:00.003+08:00

Dengan ini aku menyeru rakan-rakan.
Di mana sahaja, sementara kita masih mampu beraya berdekatan.
Marilah beraya bersama.
Aku memerlukan feedback dari rakan-rakan.
Sila respon pada entry ini.
Sila, tolonglah.
Kalau takde, maknanya hidup aku memang kosong.
Oh, sedih.

P.S.: IKUTA TOMA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! <3

I WANT TO GO BACK!!!!

2008-10-05T13:04:00.003+08:00

i am back to..civilization?
but i miss my kampung so much i want to go back!!!!
yesterday we went to ayah non's kenduri where i unexpectedly saw paon playing the lead guitar for the wedding reception.i was so shocked to see someone i know.haha.
duit raya duit raya, thankfully this year murah rezki a bit, so i got some from mak, abah, kakak, k.aqi, mak chak, chik, mak 'ndek, 'nda yah and kak siti.going back to arau certainly brings back its many many benefits.hehe.
abg qiyam gave me the colourful swatch balik kampung bag, which i intended to buy from him but got as a raya present instead.
this year's raya celebration was simple and we didn't even snap a photo of the whole family due to many circumstances, but i got a whole bunch of photo albums in my memory.
raya was totally fun.
on our way back yesterday, we were caught in a jam for i-dunno-how-many-hours but there were so many cars on the road, after the sg.perak R&R stop, thankfully the road was a bit clear.everybody wanted to go home yesterday la kot.
even the askar got some national security issues, they drove on the emergency lane.
so much for their image of very well-trained and disciplined soldiers.wah, so bravo la.
disgrace btul.
so people, drive carefully.u don't want lives to be flying around.

p.s.:new season starts!

Kunjung-Mengunjung Budaya Kita

2008-10-01T18:52:00.003+08:00

Scene 1

A: "Assalamualaikum!"
B: "Waalaikumsalam.."
A: (Diam)
B: (Mana orangnya..)
A: *Berdiri di tangga*
B: *Menjenguk ke luar*
A: *Memandang B*
B: *Memandang A*
A: (Diam)
B: (Budak ni nak apa..apsal dia tak habaq apa-apa)
A: *Meninggalkan perkarangan rumah*
B: "Huh?takkan dia harap kita huluq ja kot"

Scene 2

Sepuluh orang budak: "Assalamualaikum!"
Z: "Waalaikumsalam.."
Sepuluh orang budak : "Kami datang nak beraya."
Z: "Mai la masuk dulu."
Seorang wakil budak: "Takpelah, kami dah kenyang."
Z: "Oh takpala mcm tu."
Sepuluh orang budak: (Diam).
Z: "Awat?"
Seorang wakil budak: "Em, kami balik dulu la.."

Kanak-kanak zaman sekarang yang makin kurang memahami erti berbudi bahasa ke..orang-orang dewasa yang hati kering?

A Story Told by Iberahim

2008-10-01T12:52:00.005+08:00

Iberahim, Ibrahim, or so that is his name.
He entered our little humble home, with a bright smile on his face.
His wife,Fatima, accompanied him, with a contradict sorrowful face.
He speaks Malay with a weird accent, a definite Indian-Muslim.
Then Chik, my aunty, entertained them with some kuih raya,after he resisted on eating anything heavier.
He started saying his thanks to Allah for everything he has today.
It's rare to see anyone who could talk about how bautiful Islam is, on such a festive day.
Chik kept on insisting him to speak proper Malay.
But due to some complications in his wife understanding Malay, they communicate more in Tamil.
He was an Indian gangster.
He was thrown out of Selangor, now staying in Perlis.
He taught Indian kids of younger generation how to be a gangster.
He saved his wife when she was about to be sold away by her own ex-husband in Singapore.
She was raped and performed tubectomy after giving birth to her first and only girl baby.
The baby was then given to her ex-husband.
She was left with nothing and no one, until Iberahim found her.
They stayed together for 5 years as unmarried couple.
After knowing about Islam, they converted and got married.
Having enough to hear those stories coming out from his mouth without a shame on his face, i was fascinated on how devoted they are towards Islam, and life.
Even they know the right from the wrong.
Even i couldn't admit i was better than them, being born as a muslim.
Fact that i am not, that i am still learning my ways in devoting myself to Allah, i felt humiliated.
Today brought some meaning to me.i want to be reborn.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alhamdulillah, it rained a little in the morning but now it's a sunny day outside.
I dreamt of Toma last night, both of us a couple in a drama.wonder who Toma is?Google up Ikuta Toma.
LOL.
it looked so much like the scene in Hachimitsu to Clover, only the fact that Toma had some accident and his face was damaged a lot, supposedly.but somehow he still managed to look cute.
in my dream i abandoned him after the accident, though somehow our hearts are still attached together.only because of my ego, i couldn't face the fact that he had a ruined face, we were looking at each other by far.this sounds so much like an unrealistic drama.ahahaha.
then one day Toma decided to leave, and i was on the scene where i hold his hand tight, bending down on my knees, begging him to stay.he cried, the cute Toma is crying, like the time when he bid farewell to Mizuki as she decided to leave the school in hanakimi.
Then i woke up, it was 2.45am on raya day.
Dreams just couldn't continue on the same story right???so there goes my lovely drama with Toma.
But it felt good.even though it's just a dream.hahahaha.

P.S:thanks to EVERYONE who sent raya SMSes to my phone.i appreciate each and every one of them.thought matters.arigatou minna-san!

When the Frog Sings

2008-09-30T00:22:00.002+08:00

I'm finally here in Arau.
We were at Kakak's house for a couple of days, then little Hannah got sick, she wasn't herself, that saddens me a bit.but still, the aniki, always bullies his sister, no matter how sick she is.
As naughty as he may be..he always managed to make me smile.that's just the Safwan that i know.
It rained all day here in Arau.
I really hope that it will not rain on raya day.
It'll be a sad raya if we couldn't visit the people in the neighbourhood.
Not that i know them or whatever, but it's good to expand the network right?
Not in a mengampu-like way, the clean way of course.
Though my blog clearly stated, i am the unfriendly type.
Just takes time to know people right?
Ahh..i'm so jealous of my school friends, they had break-fast at i-am-not-really-sure-where without me.well..*sigh*
Family first, but i treasure u guys a lot, don't forget that.hahaha.
It feels so good to be here :)
The soothing sounds of nature, it still exists.
Lemme stay in this moment, forever.
I don't want to go back to life in the cities.waaaa...

Ucapan Raya dari Perantauan

2008-09-26T17:02:00.003+08:00

Salam perantauan dari Jepun..NOT!
I'm home for raya :)
tomorrow the whole family will be on our back to Arau.
there, the hype is much more felt than anywhere else.
maybe it's because mak's siblings are all there.
and there's a saying that sometimes you are closer to the mother's side of the family.
i tend to believe so too.
raya meant a lot for me and probably for many muslims in malaysia, though i may not be the type who talks much when it comes to family gathering..but just being a part of the festivities as one big family, brings so much blessings.
just being able to breathe out the moment, and be present at the scene of raya celebration, nothing beats that, not even seeing ryo on summer time MV terkinja-kinja, as what atyn would call it.
so pack your bags, head back home, let all the worries be left behind for a while.
it doesn't hurt to have fun once a year, and spend it with non-other-than your own family.
that's it for my long-shot speech for raya..hahaha.
for my fellow friends, wherever you are, no matter what you are celebrating, raya or no raya, i would like to wish all of you a blissful raya this holiday, have a safe journey back home, no matter where you are heading..my apologies for everything that i have done if ever it offended you in any way..
mistakes shouldn't be full of regrets as it helps in maturing oneself..right?
sorry no virtual cards, raya graphics or whatsoever posted in this entry..i'm just not into digging up those things.
selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin ye!

p.s.:special thanks to my ex-schoolmate, suhaina, for the ONLY raya card i received by post this year..hahaha.

Akirameru

2008-09-25T02:51:00.003+08:00

It's easy to say, "I've done my best..i can't go on with this.this is it."
It's lucky to be a person who can give up.
Give up, and start on something else.
Me..
"I can't, this is all have.."
Those words keep repeating on my mind.
Mouyameru.
*Sigh*
Why do i see this harder than anyone else?

Kasi gelak jap.

Tag, Lagi.

2008-09-23T21:22:00.002+08:00

agak malas untuk ber-tag.so..

1) 1st time naik kapal terbang:
-masa umur 1 tahun, abah bersuka ria kt jepun sambung master..aku x ingat pape..aku sgt jeles.

2) 1st time beranak
- ape kau merepek ni setan..

3) 1st time gi overseas
- seperti di atas..masih, tidak ingat ape-ape.

4) 1st time duduk jauh daripada family
- masuk uni, sri iskandar.

5) 1st time kerja...
- masa praktikal..seblum itu cubaan sy utk apply keje di secret recipe gagal, cinapek tidak mau part-timers, keje di ayamas juga gagal kerana tidak attend interview.kesimpulannya sy mmg tidak penah keje part-time melainkan di phillips semiconductors.

6) 1st time rasa diri gemuk
- semasa darjah 2,3, dan paling gemok darjah 4.

7) 1st time bercinta?
- dgn anak cikgu tuition darjah 6, cinta tak kesampaian.oh, danny.

8) 1st time rasa diri cantik??
- lahir2 mmg dah cantik (Pinjam jawapan hasanah..Hahaha) And, smpi sekarang pon masih cantik.. (Dayah, atyn n idd selalu puji aku cantik..Aku xpaksa pon..Muahaha)------------>ini jawapan klyn..sy terpaksa HUMBLE dan mengatakan saya cantik, hanya 2nd kepada klyn.wahahhahaa.

9) 1st time masuk cinema
-tak ingat..masa tu tgk jurassic park dgn mak abah.kt cathay.murah beb.

10) 1st time admitted in hospital
- admit tak penah, masuk tube yang mempunyai kamera utk lihat jika ada ulser di perut, penah la.saya anemia.

11) I nak tag : atyn..bleh ke dia buat?wahahahah.

For You and You

2008-09-23T07:59:00.004+08:00

Yo.i had a lot on my mind that i haven't been able to update.
For my blog followers, i'm truly sorry.
hehehe.cam rasa femes plak.hehehe.wahahahahahaha.
anyways, Abah, Hj. Mohammad bin Hj. A.Rahman,happy birthday!!
you are still the best!!!
:D :D :D :D :D :D
abah won't read this so we've prepared the card and gifts..so, moving on..hehe.
i am a lover of this super kawaii drama called Hanazakari no Kimitachi e.it's better than the hanakimi taiwan version.hahaha.so what if you don't agree with me.i know the drama would be nothing if it wasn't for the actors.again, you didn't catch my attention.sorry!
so peeps of the same interest as i am..the SP will be aired on october 12th, 9pm japan time, so that will take some time for the RAW uploaders to get the file up on you-know-where and the subbers will need more time to get the subs done, so expect not the SP with subs to be done soon.we will have to bear and watch only the RAW file.hehehe.i have done that many many times.it's not weird at all.trust me.especially for the sake of toma and other kawaii actors as well.ahahha.
here's a video conference of hanakimi SP courtesy of ran@nomanymore.

[2008.09.19] Hana Kimi SP
by Nomanymore

Even Though..

2008-09-21T05:55:00.002+08:00

Been tagged by one of my friends named Diana Hamasuba.she had her blog restricted to invited users.so i can't possibly link to her blog here kan.by the way thanks girl!
I've been too rajin lately for posting blog entries.

My answers:

State 15 weird things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself :

1) I love JDrama and Japanese culture.also the guys that made me go fangirling over them.can't help it right..hahaha.

2) An Internet freak.not so weird eh.

3) I like to clean the toilet and vacuum the house.i like cleaning.

4) Am a download geek.will find anything to download when there's nothing left.

5) I don't eat those chicken intestines.

6) I love people.though i don't seem like i do.

7) Chocolates and ice-creams for de-stress.

8) I don't talk much therefore making me being portrayed as unfriendly.yes, i am.

9) I don't carry handbags much.i prefer to put most of what i needed in the pockets.

10) I actually applied for art and design as my first choice to uni, because i was such in denial that i didn't take arts subject.i got accepted in CS instead which was my 6th or 8th choice?

11) I sleep late always.

12) I love guys wearing baju melayu and kain pelekat.though i like the japanese.i still haven't forgot in reality, i am malay.hahaha.

13) I hate how the western musicians exploit women through their music videos.guess which particular genre.

14) I super-shy ok.

15) I am super sleepy now.

The 10 people I tag are to then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/ habits/ little known facts :
My little sister x 10.

Over La You Ni

2008-09-20T03:21:00.002+08:00

I am overly excited that i can't sleep.
Tomorrow i am going to bake cookies.
Which pretty much means today.
Majide?!
Yes, it's for real.
Yabai, lack of sleep will get me scolded tomorrow if i wake up late.
Fasha, i am going to beat you at baking cookies for raya.
hahaha.
uso.

The Slow Movement - A Slow Down Culture

2008-09-20T00:47:00.003+08:00

I read an article on this page regarding a slow down culture practiced in Sweden and some parts of the European countries.
My brother in law brought up the subject when we saw the news.he forwarded the link to me.
Ever since the world was introduced to globalization, everyone's in a rush to do everything, and everything needs to be done quickly to get more result.
But in contrast to this, this movement is being done, to prove that things does not need to be finish in a hurry to increase productivity.
Kak Aqi said that it is impossible to get more result if things are being done that way in Malaysia.
I though so too.
I always hear my friends telling me, "Aku nak keje gomen, bleh lepak-lepak, tak yah keje banyak."
I thought, that's what i wanted too, relaxed in work, curi tulang all the time.
But, i knew it was wrong.i gotta change my mindset.hopefully with this, i'd be able to find myself a job i love doing.
People pay the taxes, and the govt people are working on the people's money for the sake of this country..
It's ok to relax a little, but if you do it all the time and mess up the work, that's irresponsible right?
Are most of the people finding their job boring, therefore forcing them to make less effort to strive for the best in their job?
Or are they just plain lazy?
Are Malays always going to be this malas?
I wonder.

Just So You Know

2008-09-19T17:41:00.002+08:00

I got tagged by my little sister who just bought herself Celcom broadband.i had problems with the internet yesterday, but she was happily surfing the net using it.that's torture.i want at least RM900 to get one, considering i am a frequent downloader.well, at least because i am not rich, i put some consideration into my expenses.and i am proud of it.

THE SELF
[01] Real name: Idyani Nazahiah binti Mohammad
[02] Nickname: Zahi, Id, Dyani, Idyani, Idy, DD?
[03] Married: Single and still searching...haha.no, unfortunately i am taken.UNFORTUNATELY for you guys.hahaha.
[04] Zodiac Sign: Pisces
[05] Gender: Female
[06] Age: 23
[07] High School: Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Puteri, Seremban.
[08] College: UiTM (don't call me racist ha..i did not take part in that riot)
[09] Height: 1.6m?or shorter?memamg asian btul..hahaha.
[10] Weight: last i weighted myself was, years ago and i was 50kg.now..flabby a bit la.hahahah.
[11] Do you like yourself: i like myself, but i do hate some part of me.
[12] Piercings: on the ears, one on each ear.
[13] Right or left: both la.
[14] Are you a freak :japanese freak.hahahah.
[15] Hair: black
[16] Skin: tan la kot..
[17] Allergic: pretenders, liars, all those kinds.
[18] What are you doing now: writing this
[19] What will you doing 1 hour later: preparing for buka puasa.
[20] What will you doing 10 years later: working, traveling, family maybe.

THE FAMILY
[21] Live with mother/father/parents: with parents, sisters and bro in law.in shah alam, am living with crackhead people like myself.thank god.
[22] Siblings(included you): 4
[23] Eldest: Ilyani Farha
[24] Youngest: Ifyani Hazirah (unlike what she stated, the youngest is the lucky one ok.the tengah ones are the most forgotten.hahahha.)
[25] Love/hate your family: LOVE

THE LOVE
[26] You found your another half: maybe :)though i consider the better half of me is myself, in a way.
[27] If yes, who is he/she: ala..guess la.
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: ikuta toma (WTF?hahahha)
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: i lost count.i had so many undefined relationships.it sucks.
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): i think i did the wooing once, and got my heart broken pretty bad..
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): got la a few kot.
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: i am a bad partner.
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: i am overly sensitive.
[34] Ever argue with your other half: lost count.
[35] You with your other half since: august rush.hahaha.
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: bisex.hahahah.no no, i am straight, alhamdulillah.i wish to stay that way.
[37] Reasons you love your other half: because he never doubted me.
[38] You and your other half in which stage: kekkon stage.hahhaa.no la.just going steady.hope it goes well.
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: we wooed each other.
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: thinking of.but not so soon.hehe.

THE FRIENDS
[41] Your first best friend: me
[42] Your first enemy: too many.myself sometimes.hahaha.
[43] The friends you love the most: my geng, and those who always stayed by my side.
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): one articular boy.
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: none.hahahah.i can't lose to them what.self motivation ma.hahahah.
[46] Your most handsome boy friend: heman.just because he's older and segak.he must be proud that i said this.hahaha.
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: boasting about something you didn't do yourself.
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: hentai
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: sadly yeah.and lost the friendship.
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: not really a best friend.
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: i will never trust again.
[52] If your friend betray you: never again, trust them
[53] If your friend woo your lover: heartbroken
[54] If your friends fall in love with you: see how it goes.
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: better not.don't risk what u got.

THE STUDIES
[56] Are you a good student: not at all.
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: do it, but always at the very last minute.
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Cik Kadimah (i wonder if she is still "cik")
[59] Always late to school/college: not always,just to skip reading session during school days.during uni days,always late dunno why.
[60] Your class: what about it?
[61] You love your seniors: i wonder.
[62] Senior who you love the most: Marlinah Samsuddin.kamu rock steady!!!hahaha.
[63] Your classmates good/bad: i like naughty classmates.hahaha.
[64] Excellent result classmate: erm..i dunno.
[65] Laziest classmate: takkan nk ckp org kot, aku pun same.

THE PEOPLE
[66] Smart people: everyone has it
[67] Stupid people: you
[68] Good looking people: me.hahahah.
[69] Ugly people: only those with bad personalities and think highly of themselves.
[70] Funny people: comedian
[71] Cute people: me again.hahahaha.
[72] Bad people: i wonder if i can stat it here.U**O.
[73] Honest people: sa..
[74] Acting people: life's a drama?----> life is.
[75] You are what kind of people: my own.

THE PREFER
[76] Lip or eyes: eyes.
[77] Hugs or kisses: hugs.
[78] Shorter or taller: in my case most probably average.or short.hahaha.
[79] hesitant or spontaneous: spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: arms.
[81] Listener or talker: listener.
[82] Romantic or rich: funny.
[83] Good husband or Good Father: father and husband.father comes first.

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: 27, the latest.
[85] Numbers of kid(s): 3, the most.
[86] Career: humanitarian, voluntary and nothing related to programming.hahaha.
[87] Salary: 2k ++
[88] Retirement age: none
[89] Properties value: house?i dont get it.
[90] Wishes: happy all the way.

THE VICTIMS
Whoever that cares to do this thing, just do it.

The Sun is Shining, on Me.

2008-09-19T07:10:00.004+08:00

It feels so good to be home.even just for a while.
Here, tranquility exists.
I don't really have that kind of relationship, where you tell everything to your family..
but when it comes to the problems i have to deal with, they are the ones i would consult, and so far they have been really understanding.
This morning is beautiful, neighbours, i can hear the girl's loud voices from the dormitory.
Sometimes it's funny to listen to their conversations.
I wonder what are other people doing at this hour.
Wonder if they are thinking of something related to what i've been thinking.
Seasons are changing, new things will happen.
New dramas will be aired. XD
I am still at this point of nowhere near others.
I wonder if i am the one being super lazy with things.
I wonder if people notice i am at my limit, even though nothing much can be seen coming out from my effort.
To the point where you can't understand a thing.
Wonder if i am that dumb.
I wish i could be like some, with gifted minds.
But well, life is just great by just being able to breathe.so what's the fuss about not understanding computer languages?
Maybe my future lies on something else.
Maybe the thing i hate the most now, will turn the other way round later.
Perhaps.
Probably.
It's not 100% certainty.

Siraman Virtual

2008-09-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

To Fatin Hamamah Fadzil, tanjoubi omedetto!!!!
walaupun engkau tidak suka mereka ini, tetapi lubang hidung ryo tetap menjadi pujaan hatiku!!!
HAPPY BATHS DAY ke-23!

Hope

2008-09-16T15:19:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, was an awful day for me.
Today, brought some meaning, for many Malaysians who believe in a new Malaysia for Malaysians.
Though, i might be alone in everything, i thought that it is ok, it's just a matter of time.
Get through whatever that is in my way, that's my goal.
Though many would like to criticize than encourage, i take those words as my own set of motivation, even though it might be a little bitter to swallow.
My real motivation is my family.
They are the only ones who have never given up on me, when others walked out.
I'm doing this for them, i will.
Happy birthday, Malaysia.
Happy birthday, to me.
Hope is here.

Discriminating Eyes

2008-09-16T01:16:00.006+08:00

In life i would like to think that people could be honest with each other, but no.
In real life, it's hard to keep on being honest, therefore people lie.
In Liar Game, the honest girl always find herself being deceived by others, because she was too nice.
Is that the way everything goes?
Somehow i wonder if it is necessary to lie, for our own benefit.
I hate hypocrites.
Truth is, i think i am one.
I think gossips are worthless.but even i, exchange gossips with other people.
Is that the way humans react around their surroundings?just to fit in?
Just so they are accepted?
To think that even the closest people around you would say things behind your back, it hurts.
I'm such a coward who doesn't know anything..
:(

Blackout

2008-09-15T02:37:00.002+08:00

Blackout.
Membuat aku terasa seperti hilang arah.
Blackout.
Membuat aku rasa kesusahan.
Blackout.
Membuat aku lebih menghargai.
Blackout.
Hargailah hiidup.

Manusia

2008-09-14T01:24:00.004+08:00

Hari ini agak kelam kabut dengan ketidakteraturan waktu tidur aku.
Hasrat mau berbuka di IKEA.
Ingat tak jadi, tapi kekasih mengajak kawannya yang berdua di rumah sewa.
So, we had our buka puasa at IKEA la last-last.
Ketika dalam perjalanan aku terserempak dengan pn.azlin berserta husband-nya.
Shah melambai dengan bersungguh..aku tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa.
Sampai-sampai di IKEA aku ternampak begitu ramai manusia yang ingin makan buffet.
So kami melangkah di dalam IKEA sambil berangan dgn barang-barang yang ada dijual.
Berjalan dengan panuh rasa kopak, waktu berbuka tiba, kami turun beli sesuatu untuk berbuka.
Kemudian, kami naik ke cafe IKEA semula..
Setelah beratur agak-agak 20 minit, kami menjalankan operasi makan sesuka hati.
Terlalu banyak udang menjadi mangsa kelaparan kami.
Sesambil makan itu..
Aku ternampak begitu ramai celebrity Malaysia, namun malang sekali aku tidak tau nama-nama mereka.oh so sad, kesian mereka tidak begitu dikenali.
Tambahan pula aku bukan agent Yahoo! omg versi Malaysia, so i don't know.
If Alisa was there, senang. So the celebrities, tak la mcm kesian sgt.
Aku tengok keliling..tengok mereka..
Manusia sgt unik, kan?